


Profound Kisses

by BENKA79



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angelically Powerful Castiel (Supernatural), Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Cas Big Bang 2019 (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, French Kissing, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), Jealous Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Post-Purgatory Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Knows, Season/Series 08, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Dean Winchester, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:09:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23642866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BENKA79/pseuds/BENKA79
Summary: Dean knows he's screwed. He discovers he is in love with Castiel in Purgatory, and now he can't even have the angel in front of him, because he knows it's a one sided love.It’s Valentine's day and Dean tries very hard to hook up as always, but he can't get Cas out of his mind. So he drives back to the motel, drunk, and he finds Castiel trying to help him. Then, when Dean asks Castiel for some experimental kisses and the angel accepts, Dean starts a very dangerous game… finding in Castiel's kisses the most delicious experiences, but also, his own perdition.Will Castiel fall in love with him? Or will he stay emotionless as always?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 119
Kudos: 355
Collections: Bottom Cas Big Bang 2019, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. One Sided Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so happy to bring this work to all of you. This is my fic for the Bottom Cas Big Bang Challenge, and I have the pleasure to team up with Gio (@sketching-fox in Tumblr) as my talented and wonderful artist. Her drawings are amazing and I hope you fall in love with them just as I did. Thank you Gio!  
> Thanks to @agusvedder and @i-know-like-four-things for beta read this work!  
> And this is a story about Destiel sexy kisses, unrequited love and pining Dean. Hope you enjoy!

Dean was sleeping in one of so many motels rooms he and his brother had been occupying while they were working on the family business. Sam was snoring too.

Silently and like a smoldering statue, Castiel remained still, standing by Dean's bed, observing him.

Castiel tilted his head, it was always amazing how humans seemed so relaxed when they were sleeping. And he didn't understand why Dean was always scolding him about not doing this. To not watch over him, or Sam... Why? Angels were supposed to watch over humanity's dreams. So… why couldn't he do it with Dean? Why was it so embarrassing to him?

His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Dean's violent movements on the bed. The hunter tightened his grip on the sheets, and his head turned from one side to the other, clenching his jaw and dripping of sweat. 

Castiel frowned. He approached him slowly, Dean was breathing harder and harder.

When Cas was near him, he touched the hunter's forehead gently, and closing his eyes he could see the nightmare that was tormenting Dean.

He thought at first he would see him in Hell, because he recalled Dean's nightmares were always about Hell. But it wasn't about Hell this time, but Purgatory. And not just about Purgatory, but Cas pushing his hand off, and Dean disappearing in that portal. Castiel narrowed his eyes in confusion, while he released him from his touch. Dean was sleeping peacefully again.

The angel was puzzled about that new nightmare… and he felt guilty, even if he didn't know why, he did.

Castiel was still thoughtful, when he saw Dean was about to wake. 

Dean opened his eyes and he almost fell from the bed when he saw the angel standing next to him, looking at him intensely.

"Dammit, Cas!" He exclaimed.

Cas tilted his head trying to understand the human’s flustered reaction.

"You were having a nightmare," the angel said.

Dean sat up in the bed, throwing the sheets roughly to a side, watching his feet.

"How many times have I told you, you can't just watch me sleep, it’s _creepy_ ," he raised his eyes to face of the angel when he finished saying that. He saw Castiel blinking.

"I'm sorry…" the angel narrowed his eyes again, and he was still staring at Dean with such an intense gaze, "but I do this very often."

" _What_?" Asked Dean, with horror in his green eyes.

"I watch over you while you sleep, and Sam too," he pointed at his snoring brother, still sleeping like a baby.

"Why?" Dean asked, blushing again.

"Because that's what angels do. We watch over humanity. So… I watch over you and Sam, because you're my friends…" explained Cas. It was simple. Why couldn’t Dean understand that?

Dean remained still, watching those blue eyes staring back at him, he was speechless of how carelessly Castiel could talk about things like that… with brutal honesty. Without a single hair of his head moving. _Freaking angels…_

"Why are your nightmares about Purgatory now?" Castiel questioned, and Dean gave a little surprised jump right there.

Castiel saw it. Castiel knew it now. Dean's painful heartache each time he recalled him pushing him away… _letting his hand go_. The horrible sensation in his stomach, the physical representation of being heartbroken. One sided love… the rejection…

His mouth got dry, and he stood up. He walked towards the refrigerator, turning his back to Castiel. Dean's eyes were wide open, searching for _something_ … perhaps the words that didn't want to come out of his mouth. His heart was pounding like crazy in his chest. He finally arrived to the refrigerator, and opened the door, "Was I dreaming about… the monsters of Purgatory?" He asked, worried. Maybe Cas just got an image about it… and not _everything_.

"No." Castiel approached the hunter with a thoughtful expression on his face, frowning, while Dean opened his beer, closed the door, and turned around, "It was about when I pushed you away… in the portal, and I let your hand go," the angel fixed his eyes with Dean's, worried.

Dean choked on his beer, and immediately covered his mouth and half of his red face with his hand, trying to sound normal. He didn't want to show how painful that memory was to him.

"What?" He just was able to say. The hunter saw by the corner of his eye, how Castiel tilted his head to a side, still observing him with such tenderness.

"Was that… so painful to you?" The angel asked, and it reminded him of that time in the barn, when Castiel's eyes scanned him and took an accurate picture of his soul.

Dean chuckled, avoiding the angel's intense gaze, he passed him by, and said, "No, no… what are you saying? Not at all." He took another sip of that beer.

Castiel walked towards him, Dean was turning his back to him again, near the window.

"It seemed like… you were about to scream…" the angel observed. Narrowing his eyes, Cas noticed the silence. He thought Dean's shoulders and back were still carrying a huge charge. The righteous man was strong, but sometimes he showed shades of vulnerability… just with Sam and him. Maybe if he threw all his worries there…. he could find a way to share it… with Castiel… and the weight would be less painful.

Dean was quiet… he knew he couldn't fake a smile. Not now when his heart was aching. But he swallowed it, and swiveled around to watch Castiel… 

And there he was… the dim moon light coming from the window outlined the angel's perfect silhouette. He was a beautiful man, a beautiful angel. Dean's eyes were doing that thing again, contemplating Castiel's eyes, long eyelashes, perfect nose, and sensual lips…. And oh… those lips… so tempting, so pink… he could easily imagine himself kissing him… tasting him…

And his tan skin… his neck… his messy black hair… he just wanted to push him against the bed and…

"I'm sorry, Dean…" Castiel's rough voice dragged him back to reality, "But if I hadn't made you believe I was going to go with you, you would have never had left Purgatory."

Dean opened his eyes widely, what was he saying? Why did he have to say these words?? _Now_? In this precise moment Dean was trying so hard not to feel the things he felt for the Angel. Trying to push all of that down. To the depth of his soul.

But then Cas came saying these kinds of things… with honesty and purity in his gorgeous blue eyes… looking at him, making him tremble, feeling there was no one else in this sick world, but Castiel. He looked away and closed his eyes for a brief moment…

"You are loyal, Dean," Castiel added, approaching him, till they were so close… his scent always invading Dean's senses. Making him lose it. So close to those lips, but still… so far away from them. 

He huffed a little chuckle, incredulous, bowing his face, "It's okay, Cas…" he took a sip of that beer. It tasted bittersweet, it tasted of disappointment, "I need some air," he rushed those words, and almost ran away from Castiel's overwhelming presence.

When he was outside, he took a deep breath, and raised his face to the moonlight. One sided love, he didn't even know what real love was before knowing Castiel. 

Okay… he needed to cut the high school love comedy right now. He was Dean Winchester. No unrequited love could kill him. Not at all. He had to do the same thing he always did... to lock those feelings down. Yes. He was a professional at doing that. Like if nothing never happened.

_Who's Castiel?_ Just a bro, just his friend, the best friend he had. 

_Just a friend. That's what we are for each other. And it's great. Really…_

Then… why was he feeling like crap?

  
  


//////////////////

Next morning, Sam saw Castiel wasn't around.

"Where's Cas?" He asked.

"I don't know," answered Dean, dryly, he looked pretty crabby. His brother noticed that right away.

"Are you okay?" The younger one frowned, but he only got a short _'yes'_ from his brother.

Both of them sat in silence, drinking coffee.

Sam was curious. Dean had been acting weird since he came back from Purgatory. He was sure it had to be with Castiel. He had seen the way Dean stared at Cas sometimes, when Cas wasn't seeing him. At first he thought it was because Dean wanted to know how Castiel got out from Purgatory, but now that they already knew it had been Naomi and her crew, his brother kept staring at the angel… and maybe Sam was wrong… maybe the whole time those glances were because… something had happened to him in there… with Castiel. Some… realization, or… maybe…

He knew that look on his brother… he recalled that time with Cassie… but different… like more mature… more deep… more… lost in love. Yes. That was it. _Love_. Profound… unique.

_His brother was in love with Castiel._

But he won't touch that matter with him. Dean needed some time, he thought… _maybe…_ or maybe he was digesting the idea of being in love with his best friend… an angel.

Sam took a sip of his coffee, and shot a quick glance to Dean. He looked thoughtful and… _sad_. That was the word. He looked sad.

Suddenly, they heard a wings flap sound, Sam saw how Dean straightened in his place and opened his eyes with nervousness.

"Hello Dean, Sam," the angel greeted them. He had a basket with fresh fruits. He put the basket on the table, in front of both brothers.

"I brought fruits from Italy. I hope you like them," said Castiel, averting his eyes to Dean, waiting for some reaction from him, but Dean didn't move, and he just took another sip of his coffee.

Sam watched that odd behavior, and taking the basket, he said smiling, "Thank you, Cas, it looks delicious," he added, and picked an apple.

Dean remained muted, drinking his coffee.

"What are we gonna do today?" Asked Castiel, and Sam was opening his laptop right there.

"We will search for a case, and…" 

"Not me," Dean cut his brother off, he stood up, and walked around, "I have a date with Saint Valentine, so don't count on me," he warned them.

Castiel tilted his head to a side, with incognito in his eyes. Sam huffed.

"Is Saint Valentine's day, Cas… so… Dean use to go to bars and get… some… girls' phone numbers…" Sam tried to explain this, and not to be very graphic, but he saw Dean approaching them with a mischievous smile on his face.

"And get laid with those girls, mostly. Not just their numbers." He put a hand on Castiel's shoulder, and winked.

Sam narrowed his eyes, and grinned. Definitely… Dean was trying to get some jealousy there. _What a jerk._

"Oh," observed Castiel, "And that's… _love_?" The angel threw without anesthesia. Dean jumped in his place, surprised by that question, and he just looked away. But Sam caught that fast ball.

"No, no at all. That's not love for sure, Cas." The younger one chuckled. 

Dean side eyed him, with a serious face.

"Why would you thought it would be… _that_?" questioned Dean uncomfortably, without looking at the angel. 

Sam glared at him.

Cas squinted his eyes, and said, "Because Saint Valentine is related to couples in love… so…"

"We know what Saint Valentine is, Cas." Dean interrupted him, raising the tone of his voice. 

Sam saw he was kind of losing his patience. And he suspected why. The whole " _love topic_ " was making him nervous. And adding that _Cas_ was the one talking about it… it should be worst for him.

"We don't need… the " _L_ " word for having sex," continued Dean, he walked towards the refrigerator, _of course, there's not suffering there…_ the hunter took a beer and opened it.

"Wow," observed Sam, "Isn't it too early for that?" He pointed. 

Dean side eyed him with poker face and waving his beer, he answered "Is early for _everything_ , Sam," the older brother turned around to see him, and said, "Besides… what's wrong with starting the party from now?" He offered them a mischievous smile.

"Party?" questioned Castiel, cocking his head to a side with bewilderment in his blue eyes.

Sam huffed a little chuckle, "Dean has a _strange idea_ about what a party should be," he defined.

"Maybe is because you are _too boring_ , Sam," Dean pointed at him with his beer, smiling triumphant. 

_And maybe because you can't have what you want… you just allow yourself to have less._

Okay, time to shut his brain out.

Dean's smile faded, and he took a quick sip of his beer. Avoiding everyone's glances, he walked away to the door, "I'll go check on Baby… gonna fix some issues…" he excused himself and left.

////////

The door closed behind him, and Sam turned his head to see Castiel. The angel was still watching the door.

"Did something happen between you two?" The younger Winchester asked.

He saw the angel taking a deep breath, then he fixed his eyes with Sam, "I just… clarified something to him," he answered.

Sam understood. He nodded, "Mmh, okay," added without any other word, and began to type on his laptop again. It was sure neither Cas nor Dean would talk with him about it. Not yet at least.

////////

Dean was with his head on Baby's engine while his mind constructed a painful idea about what just happened.

He felt like a complete idiot. Why was he treating Cas like this? Was he dumb? Did he think that by treating Cas like garbage he will be able to forget about his feelings for him? Or maybe Cas will turn into an emotional being and fall in love with him?

_Yeah, he was an asshole._

Cas had been clear… he saw Dean like a friend. Just like a good friend. He didn't wanted to live a romantic adventure that time when Dean tried his best to get him out of Purgatory. No way. The whole time Castiel had been thinking how to tell him, a completely piece of dumbass, he didn't want to come back home with him. Why would Dean think Castiel wanted to be rescued by him like a princess? Why did he had that illusion in his head? That wasn't a love story, at all. Purgatory was bloody and nasty. And dangerous as hell. 

_But it also felt pure…_

It also gave Dean that realization. He was in love with Castiel. The powerful angel of the Lord, his _male_ best friend… so beautiful outside and inside… his nerdy angel…

Why did he had to fall for someone who will never feel the same for him? Why did his own heart made him have these feelings?

_Because if it's impossible… then Dean Winchester will want it._

That was the thing in his head, right? Aiming for one impossible love. 

_Suffering for an unrequited feeling…_

It wasn't that bad… he will be fine. Maybe enjoying his favorite day on the calendar… Saint Valentine's Day, he will go to a bar, get some chicks, and he will be just fine.

He opened the back seat and took another beer, "You do love me, Baby," he smiled at his car.

//////////////

It was past midnight, and Sam was already sleeping, when Cas heard Baby arriving to the parking lot. It was so noisy, a song was playing loud and he could heard Dean singing loud too.

**_It's just that I can't breathe without you_ **

**_Feel like I'm gonna lose control_ **

**_I've got a pocket full of money, oh yes I do_ **

**_And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds_ **

**_But when it comes to lovin'_ **

**_I just can't get you off of my mind, yeaaah_ **

Dean's voice was loud, just like the music. Castiel ventured himself to look by the window, and he saw Dean singing and trying to get out from the car. He was drunk. 

  
  


**_Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope_ **

**_Yeah yeahee yeah_ **

**_Tell me baby, yeah_ **

**_What are the rules the reasons and the do's and don'ts_ **

**_Yeah yeahee yeah_ **

**_Tell me baby, tell me baby, yeah_ **

**_What do you feel inside?_ **

Castiel saw him trying to straighten in his place, but he was failing, so he approached him and called him, "Dean?"

**_I've got a pocket full of money_ **

**_And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds_ **

**_Oh yeah_ **

**_But when it comes down to lovin'_ **

**_I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah_ **

**_I just can't get you off of my mind, yeah_ **

Dean watched Castiel walking towards him, and he smiled fondly, and raising his voice again, he said, "Heya Buddy! Heya! Ooohhh!! Riiiight!" Dean nodded putting a finger on his lips, then he whispered, while Cas watched him with narrowed eyes, "Sammy is sleeping, right? Shhh shhh shhhh," repeated Dean. 

His whole body was trying to reach stability, as he turned off his radio. The music was gone.

Cas tilted his head, "You are drunk," observed the angel, "I can help," then he approached one finger to his forehead, but Dean backtracked, avoiding his touch.

"No… No, no, no, Cas, I don't want it… I…" he tried to take one step, but he almost fell. 

Cas grabbed him, their faces were inches away, but Dean didn't notice, he had his eyes closed, and he was laughing so loud.

"I tried Cas, I really tried, but deep inside of me, I didn't wanted to…" his laugh was fading while he was speaking. His voice began to sound sorrowful, his eyes were now fixed on his own feet. 

"Not even with that blond, or the brunette… they were there… available… they _wanted_ me, Cas, and they were beautiful… but… I couldn't, and you know why?" He asked, raising his eyes to find his friend's blues, then he dropped his gaze to his pink and delightful lips, "Oh…" he said without taking off his eyes from that desirable mouth, "I'm so screwed, Cas…" he muttered, because those lips were the death of Dean Winchester, and the cause of his failed hook up from that night.

Castiel squinted his eyes again, and he said, "Yes, but I could help you if you let me," the angel insisted. 

Dean was looking at him in the eye now, and he leaned against the car, his face was so serious, "Do you want to help me?" the hunter asked and his eyes went dark.

"Yes, of course," answered Castiel immediately.

"I kissed all of them, Cas, three chicks…" murmured Dean, in the middle of the silence and the obscurity of the night, his voice sounded clear and deep.

"I don't understand…" Castiel was trying to figure out what his friend wanted to ask him… he really wanted to help him feeling better.

"But… no one of their lips were…" Dean's lustful eyes were on the angel's lips again, _he was about to do it, right_? "I want you to be my experiment…" he said, staring at the angel's confused eyes.

"What?" Cas cocked his head to the other side, frowning.

"I just need to try… just to try, and if it doesn't work… and this has nothing to do with that, and is not like I thought, then…" Dean was babbling already, trying to sound logical, but the booze was strong in his veins, and he didn't even know what he was doing. He only knew… he needed to taste it… wherever it would take… it didn't matter… he wanted it. Badly.

"What do you want me to do, Dean?" 

_Fuck…_ that was the sign, wasn't? Innocent, beautiful and clueless. If he weren't drunk, he would felt like a monster… _thank you alcohol_.

_Okay… say it, Dean Winchester…_

"Kiss me, Cas… that way I will just know…" he stuttered, how could he looked at Castiel in the eye after these words coming out from his mouth? _Thank you alcohol indeed._

Castiel blinked, "I… I don't understand…" the angel scowled confused, but Dean rushed his words again…

"Say yes, and I'll do it… it will be just an experiment…" he explained, approaching him, the fresh breeze of the night made him almost recover his functions, "I just need to know why…" he continued, the angel was watching him with bewilderment in his face, "why I can't kiss girls now…" Dean stopped in front of him, waiting for an answer.

Castiel saw how Dean was suffering, deep inside his soul, sadness and pain, why didn't he see that before? Then he understood… maybe he needed to kiss a man. He had seen humans struggling about that, about their sexual orientations. Maybe Dean was suffering because of that too? A matter that angels couldn't explore. He was indifferent to sexual orientation, just as his brothers and sisters. Yes… that seemed to be the problem there…

"Do you want compare… to kiss women and men…?" The angel asked, innocently.

Dean opened his eyes widely in awe, it could be selfish, very selfish, but he needed to do this… angels don't feel a thing, so… it will mean nothing to Castiel… the problem was… maybe it would mean everything to him.

He shut that thought, and decided to continue…

"Yes…" Dean's lips moved by itself.

Castiel lowered his face thoughtful, then he fixed his eyes with Dean's "So… you have doubts about that?" questioned the angel, trying to sound comprehensive.

Dean swallowed and nodded, then he added, "I wouldn't ask this to anyone else…"

Cas was nodding too, then he raised his eyes to meet the hunter's green and anxious gaze, "Of course, then yes," said the angel.

Dean gulped and his heart skipped a beat. He approached him, and murmured "Good…" he pressed his lips slowly against the angel's soft and warm ones.

//////////


	2. Shy Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can't handle Castiel acts as if their first kiss never happened. Maybe he will need some more experiments with the angel...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying my friends! Please handle this angst, I promise good things are coming... 😏

Dean was dizzy, he didn't know if it was Castiel's soft lips or the booze. 

_Yeah, it was definitely Castiel's lips._

The very taste of them sent electricity to his whole body.

_But then he realized… Cas wasn't kissing him back…_

He was pressing his lips on him…. But there wasn't a response from the angel… he felt pathetic… and sad. He cut the kiss slowly, trying to avoid his friend's gaze. The ache in his chest was more painful than before…

"Was it helpful?" Dean heard Castiel saying. He couldn't answer directly, so he looked away into the darkness of the route, and said…

"Yes, Cas… it was, thank you," the hunter, watched his own feet, and tried to walk again, but Cas approached him with concern.

"Can I… heal you now?" Requested the angel raising his finger. He wanted to touch his forehead.

But Dean didn't want that, he didn't want to feel more these things sober… he had to use the alcohol in his veins to faint on the bed and not to think about what he had just done to this innocent angel… this angel he loved so much, he painfully pinned for him, and he didn't love him back as he would wished. 

So he put his hand as a boundary between Castiel's finger and his head, and offering a quick glance, he huffed, "No… not today, buddy…" he put a heavy hand over Cas' shoulder and walked away, murmuring, "I couldn't deal with this sober… so… you let me… it's better this way…"

Cas watched him entering the motel room, with heavy, slow steps and head down. He narrowed his eyes, he didn't understand why Dean wouldn't want to feel fine… and sober. He wanted to help him. 

He thought that let him kiss his vessel would be good for him… but it seemed it wasn't enough. The angel frowned, sometimes he would love to know more about humanity's behavior or wishes… maybe he could find a way to be helpful to his friend…

Dean laid down on his bed, and blessed the amount of alcohol he drank. Closing his eyes he sighed as he ran his right hand over his face. The pain in his chest was still there, like a knife digging deep and down through his heart.

His hand stopped and rubbed his lips, his eyes were now open, red and tired. He would never forget Castiel's warm lips from now on. It will stay like an eternal curse on him. He pressed his eyes with resignation. This love he was feeling for the angel… Why does it has to be impossible? Unreachable? 

He was a mess. Falling in love with your male angel friend… _well done Dean Winchester._

And because it was the first time he felt such intensity inside… he knew… he will never be over it. He won't love any woman, any man, as he loved Castiel. So he was dead inside for it. He just have to go on and… and try to be a good friend.

But that kiss kept coming back once and once and again to his head… even with the booze… Castiel was all over his senses. 

He sighed again, and tried to get some sleep.

//////

Next day in the morning Dean woke up with a huge headache, while Sammy was immersed in some new case he found. The younger Winchester gave a quick glance to his brother when he sat in his bed, groaning.

"Morning… hard night?" Asked Sammy, pointing at a cup of coffee in front of him.

"Well… you could say that…" Dean stood up, walking towards the table, sitting in front of Sam and grabbing the mug. 

Sam was watching him, eyebrows raised, "Not a party, then…" observed the insightful brother.

Dean gave a sip to his coffee, and murmured, "Not as I expected," without looking at his brother's eyes.

Sam frowned. But immediately after that, a flap sound was heard. Cas was there.

"Hello Dean, Sam," greeted Castiel, with his usual rough voice, and Dean almost choked with his coffee. 

Sam frowned again and side eyed his brother.

"Hey Cas, just on time, I have a case in Nashville, it looks like werewolves," commented Sam, showing him the screen of his laptop. 

The angel approached him, and laid down a little to read.

Dean was there, just _hypnotized_ with Castiel. His eyes were traveling from those blue eyes, with such long eyelashes… crossing the perfection of his nose and then his eyes went straight to those pink, full lips… the hunter swallowed just remembering how soft and warm those lips were… and how he was dying to kiss him again. 

"It looks like, yes…" pointed the angel, when that headache came back as a knife in Dean's head.

"Ugh…" said Dean, touching his forehead, and lowering his face with a painful expression. 

Castiel cocked his head with bewilderment, and observed, "You're in physical pain," then, without any ado, he approached Dean, and put his finger delicately in Dean's forehead.

Dean was caught on surprise, but even so, he just stopped breathing, and closed his eyes, Castiel's touch was delicious. 

He licked his lips when he heard, "Let me, Dean," coming from the angel, and then… his grace… running all over his body, so intense and relaxing… so fresh and pure. _Fuck…_ he loved this angel so much…

Sam watched the whole scene, it felt so intimate for no reason… well… there was _one_ reason… Dean's face while Cas was healing him. The little brother bowed his face and smiled, looking at his laptop again.

  
  


"How do you feel now?" Castiel asked Dean, after healing him, and staring at him in the eye.

Dean had to block a little shy smile that began to show in his lips, "Yeah, I'm fine, thank you Cas…" and he adventured himself to glare at him, and what he saw, made his chest ache again.

Cas was there, as if nothing had happened last night. As if Dean had never kissed him. It was Cas, in his usual clothes, with his usual blank expression, and was no emotion there, in his eyes. Dean blushed, and looked away. 

He stood up and went straight to the refrigerator, picked up a beer, and opened it.

Sam frowned at that, " _Really_?" He asked, scolding him.

Dean shrugged, and took a sip to the beer.

The younger brother buffed, and looking at Cas, he said, "So... are you coming with us?"

Cas nodded, "Of course," he answered, and Dean had to drink from that beer again… because having Castiel so close in a hunt… wouldn't be that easy on his heart.

/////////

They were on the road again, to Nashville this time. 

Sam was giving data about the two deaths related to animal attacks in four days. 

His speech wasn't so interesting like watching Castiel's lips through the rearviewmirror.

Cas was absorbed by Sam's explanation of the case, and Dean couldn't stop studying the angel's manly face and mouth. Each time he stole a second to watch it, the butterflies in his stomach made him dizzy. Remembering the kiss the whole time wasn't helping him neither. He needed to stop.

But his eyes seemed to be acting by themselves, sneaking to see Castiel's beauty everytime he could.

And it hurted so much to think Castiel didn't feel a glimpse of anything for him. Not even disgust, he could manage disgust, at least it would be something… but he was _cold…_ like a robot. He had seen him smile once, but nothing more than that… cold… like snow.

Even if his lips had touched his with shy passion, the angel hadn't responded… it was automatic… just an experiment.

Search in differents places for something to fill the hole, it would be futile… that void he had was the huge longing for Castiel… Castiel's lips… Castiel's touch… Castiel's love… no one could fill that… _only Castiel._

He didn't know what to do…

////////

The data drove them to a cabin in the woods.

It was a pack…

"It could be four or five of them… It looks like a Family…" pointed Sam, the three of them were approaching silently to the place. Dean wove his hand, to indicate they should split. Sam went to the left, and Cas to the right. Dean was in the front door, and he waited just for a few seconds. He was about to kick that door, when one werewolf bounced on his back, and pushed him brusquely inside the cabin. He turned around in the floor, and the corpulent monster was on him, trying to bite him in any opportunity he had. 

Dean blocked him with the shotgun trying to avoid the attack, but the weight of that werewolf was impossible to shove.

He saw by the corner of his eye how Sam was dealing with the same situation, but against the kitchen wall. Suddenly, there were four more of them, arriving from God knows where.

But then, Castiel was there too.

He pushed two werewolves to the ground with just one movement and smashed their heads, burning their eyes in a second.

Dean swallowed, _that was hot as fuck…_

Without wasting more time, he took another one by the forehead with just one hand, while pushing away a second monster who wanted to jump on him. 

The one he had put his hand on wasn't alive anymore, so Cas saw the werewolf he had shoved was unconscious. Quickly he appeared behind the monster who had Sam against the wall, and he burnt his brains out too. 

The werewolf who was on top of Dean averted his attention to the angel, and ran towards him.

"Stop killing my brothers!!" He yelled.

Castiel side eyed the other that was awake and about to jump into that fight, and shouted "Close your eyes!" 

Sam and Dean did as he said, and then the angel extended both hands, emanating a white and powerful light, that killed the two werewolves in one instant.

Dean opened his eyes, and he couldn't avoid the fact he was having a fucking erection.

He knew that having Castiel in their hunts wouldn't be helpful to erase any feeling he had for him. Why on Earth Cas made every single movement or fight, so _hot_ ? It was like inherent to him. He was the hottest man he'd ever seen… and so powerful, and such a graceful warrior… _fuck…_ his erection was so evident he had to cover his crotch when he stood up.

"Those were all, six," announced Castiel. He wasn't even panting.

"Thanks, Cas, you were amazing," the younger Winchester appreciated. 

"I feel I'm a hunter like you too," smiled Castiel broadly, and he looked at Dean, but the hunter couldn't handle that smile and those bright blue eyes in that moment. His heart gave a jump in his chest, and he avoided the angel gaze, looking to a side. 

Sam narrowed his eyes and huffed at the sight of his big brother's odd behavior.

///////////

There were at a Motel very close to that location, so they arrived there. 

They bought some unsalted food from the only store that was open, and then Sammy won the paper-rock and scissors and took his shower first.

Castiel had gone, he just flew away promising he would come back.

Having him everyday was a sweet wish he could never thought it would become true…

When Dean Winchester went out from the bathroom, wet hair and wearing just his sweat pants and a gray t-shirt, he glanced at the window, there was a well known shadow. It was the slender figure of Castiel, watching the stars, with both hands in his pockets.

Dean didn't have to go out… he was tired from the hunt, but his feet moved by themselves.

Why was he outside? It was because he had told him he didn't want him watching over him while he was sleeping?

He needed to know what Castiel could be thinking right now… he needed to know… the angel was a mystery… acting always so clueless, like a cold robot… without feelings… without…

Dean stopped just inches from the door and breathed deeply. What was he about to do? What was he about to say to him? He had just kissed him, without any response from Castiel.

_Heartless son of a bitch…_

Even so… he couldn't forget it… he just… couldn't…

And he wanted _more_.

Dean squeezed his eyes tight with disgust. He hated himself just for thinking that. Taking advantage of an innocent angel…

But he couldn't fight against himself… against the feverish beast that had grown inside of him… and each cell of his body was demanding more from Castiel…

Why did he had to see him like that this afternoon? So hot… so sexy…So powerful…

It would be easier to forget about the kiss and everything related to this angel… but he was screwed… Castiel was the perfect cocktail he wanted to drink in one sip. Powerful, beautiful, hot, innocent, nerdy, weird, _dorky little…_

Dean extended his hand and opened the door quietly, he didn't want to wake up his brother.

Cas was then aware of his presence.

"Hello, Dean," the angel said, without taking his eyes off from the starry sky.

"Heya, buddy," the hunter echoed, trying not to sound soft, as the feelings that were screaming inside his throat.

"You were silent, today…" observed Castiel, then he turned his face to see the hunter, making him gulp at the sight of such a beautiful vision. The angel features were perfect, showered by the dim light of the moon, "Is your headache back?" he questioned, tilting his head with curiosity in his dark blue eyes.

Dean swallowed, and his mouth twitched, "No, I… I'm fine," he looked away, he couldn't handle the intensity of Castiel's gaze.

He didn't know why, but Cas took one step forward, and they were inches from each other's faces. 

Dean side eyed his pink and delicious lips, and gulped again.

Castiel cocked his head to the other side, "Did you think about the experiment from last night?"

Dean choked with his own saliva, and when he was better, he said, "Yes… I… well, actually yes I was thinking about it…" 

Cas was honest… he just could shot things like that without hesitation. Dean was watching his feet. 

Castiel frowned "Oh… I see…" the angel murmured, lowering his face.

Dean stared at him, with cocked eyebrows, "The experiment didn't helped you to reach a satisfactory conclusion" finished Cas, blinking concerned.

Dean saw how the angel was staring at the sky again, his profile was perfect, his sharp nose, and his long eyelashes… and his lips were… _those pink and soft lips…_

"So, maybe, you need more time," Castiel said, still watching the stars.

Dean licked his lips, and he couldn't stop his mouth saying, "Or maybe I just need more experiments…" his eyes were still fixed on Castiel's desirable lips. 

Cas faced him again, and squinted his eyes, "You mean… with _men,_ " pointed Cas, trying to understand what Dean just said. 

But Dean was hypnotized. He bit his lower lip, and staring at Cas in the eye, found himself saying, "No, not _any_ men… Just with _you,_ " the hunter saw how Cas was confused, he saw him doing that tilt of his head so cute and delicious of his.

Dean swallowed. He couldn't believe himself… why was he doing this? It was true that Castiel didn't feel shit for him, or for anything, but this was a dangerous game. Dangerous for him.

Dean tried to shut every inch of sanity in his head, he closed his eyes, and then he faced Castiel. Glaring at his friend, he added, "I just trust you to do this, Cas." 

Dean and Castiel were staring at each other. 

Dean felt so nervous, he didn't know from where it came all those brave words. Was he possessed or something?

_But he knew he wanted this…_

Even if it was dangerous, and even if he will be suffering as the stupid son of a bitch he was… _he wanted this_. He wanted to kiss Castiel one more time… but he wanted more…

"Okay," replied the angel, and Dean had to remember how to breathe, "Do you want to do it now?"

"Yes," Dean nodded, then he licked his lips again and closed his eyes, "but this time… you have to kiss me back," he requested. When the hunter opened his eyes again, he saw how Castiel was squinting his.

"Like the pizza man?" He asked, so clueless and innocent, it made Dean blush.

"Ehm… no," the hunter answered, bowing his face, flustered, "Not that intense," then he looked at Cas again, "Just… kiss me back, okay? I… I need to prove something…"

"I understand, Dean," answered Cas, then Dean approached him slowly, till the heat that Castiel's body irradiated was consuming his senses. 

He growled, "And … I will grab you by the hips… if that's okay…" Dean asked, but he didn't wait for an answer, he was already aroused, and he put both hands in the angel's hips, touching just the smooth fabric of Castiel's shirt.

"Of course, Dean," accepted Cas, and he was already thinking how should he touch Dean. So he just put his right hand on Dean's left shoulder, it was almost instinctively, because that was the shoulder he had grabbed to get Dean out from Hell.

Dean gasped slightly at the sweet and shy touch from Castiel's hand.

The hunter approached his face slowly till there was no place between them, he closed his eyes and breathing Castiel's exquisite essence, he kissed him sweetly.

\-------

Cas had his eyes still opened, when he recalled he had to answer to that kiss, so he moved his lips, shyly and insecure, hoping he was doing right…

He was, because when Dean felt Castiel was kissing him back, he couldn't stop the whimper coming from his throat. Dean's heart was running a race in his chest, and his fingers were carving in Castiel's belt, he wanted to push him against his body, but he controlled that impulse, because his crotch was so tight right now, and giving him more pleasure would be a point of not return.

Being kissed by Cas was like being in Heaven, even if he knew it was fake, even if he knew this was all a game, an experiment… it was so hot… _Castiel was so fucking hot_ … his dick twitched in his pants, and he let another moan free when Cas changed the direction of his lips and continued kissing him so soft and sexy.

Castiel was thinking each movement, he really wanted to help Dean with his situation, but it also… it didn't feel bad… at the contrary… it felt warm and… _nice…_

The angel felt how Dean pushed him slightly against him, but he remained in his place, he heard a moan from Dean, maybe that was a sign and the experiment was working this time. To change the direction of the lips maybe had been a good option.

And perhaps if he moved his hand… caressing him to the back, maybe that...could help Dean too…

So he did it, and he could felt how Dean trembled, _was he feeling cold?_

\------

  
  


The hunter felt how Castiel's hand moved to his back, caressing him, and he couldn't handle it anymore. His cock was asking for mercy right now, so he needed to stop. He knew it was all fake, but it felt real to his heart… and even if he thought he was a dumbass for just wanting these lies over nothing, he knew he will ask for another kiss again. Because he loved Castiel.

Dean pushed him away slowly, cutting the kiss as slow as it had started. 

The hunter was obfuscated. 

Castiel was staring at him, with focused attention, "It worked?" 

Dean looked at him, with a tiny of sadness in his eyes. He remembered there why it was playing with fire. But he couldn't deal with himself. He just needed so much from Castiel, "Yes," he said with a thin voice, "But… I .. I will need more experiments with you in the future…" he lowered his face while he was saying this nonsense, he couldn't believe his own mouth, he couldn't believe his own mind, "If that's okay with you…" he added then, fixing his greens with those irresistible blues.

And Cas expression was… _blank_. Dean's chest ache right there.

"Of course, Dean. Whatever you need. I want to help you," the angel said.

Dean pressed his lips with angst, and he patted Castiel's shoulder, "Thank you, buddy… I… I'll go to sleep now."

"That's good, you need to sleep… I have to come back to Heaven…" the angel said, raising his eyes to the sky, "It seems it's an urgent meeting…" he murmured.

Dean turned around to see him, frowning. 

The angel glared at him, "See you soon, Dean." And he flew away.

And Dean felt a void in his chest when Castiel was gone.

  
  


////////////


	3. French Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is gone for a couple of days. And Dean can't stop praying him, ashamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Third chapter and time to teach Castiel what a French kiss is about! 🔥

It had been two days since Castiel left.

Dean wasn't sure what was going on… it wasn't the first time Cas disappeared. But was this little, tiny issue… this time he disappeared after that hot kiss they shared.

_Fuck_. Dean was sure it had been his fault… maybe he horrified the innocent angel with his eagerness for touching and kissing him… did Cas sensed that? Maybe he got scared of that?

He tried to recall Castiel's facial expression when he left… it was his usual face... the blank one, the robotic, the lacking-feelings one … okay, maybe it wasn't the kiss…

But… it would be nice… if Castiel had felt just a bit of something with that kiss…

Dean shook his head and slammed his forehead, trying to erase that stupid thought.

Sam watched him and frowned from the other side of the kitchen.

The older brother side eyed Sam, aware of his presence.

"Is everything alright?" The younger asked.

Dean cleared his throat and grabbing his mug from the kitchen he sat in front of his brother. Without saying a word.

It was nice to have the bunker as their home. He knew he should be celebrating, and jumping, and all of that. He was happy to have a place where to come back when they finished their hunts… but without Castiel… it had no meaning for him.

_Shit… there is that corny feeling again._

He prayed to Cas… almost the whole time. 

_Cas, forgive me if I offended you…_

_Cas, please come back._

_Cas, are you mad?_

_Really buddy, it's nothing… just a stupid experiment._

_Cas, are you copying me?_

_Cas, really man, this isn't funny._

_We have a place now, a bunker._

_Cas, are you there?_

_Cas… are you coming today?_

Dean wanted to know how many prayers he could say before it sounded too desperate… 

He put the mug violently on the table, and Sam gave a little jump in his chair. Then he looked at his brother… he seemed worried. Sammy frowned again, he coughed awkwardly, then he encouraged himself to ask "Any news from Cas?"

"I'm not worried!" Dean threw out, without hearing his brother's real question. They both were looking at each other in the eyes. Sam scowled in bewilderment.

"I… didn't… asked…"

"He can do whatever he wants, he can go to Heaven…" Dean stood up in a row, waving his arm in the air, and walking around the table, "...to do what angels supposed to do, I don't care," he turned around to see a very confused Sam, "really, I don't care. He doesn't want to answer my call? Or even my prayers? _Fine_!" Dean rolled on his heels and turned his back at Sam.

Sam opened his eyes widely, "Did you… pray to him?"

Dean's mad face fell down, and he swallowed hard at that question. He side eyed his brother but he didn't want to answer that. Suddenly, they heard a couple of wings.

"Hello Dean, Sam," the rough celestial voice sounded behind Dean, he wheeled around to watch him, and his angry face was there again.

"Where have you been?" He threw, and then he recalled his brother was there, but he avoided his eyes.

Sam scowled. It was so obvious to him. Castiel was the cause of his brother's bad mood these last two days.

Cas tilted his head at the sight of his friend. He seemed mad, and he didn't understand why, "I had a matter that required my attention…" Cas was staring at the immense bunker's kitchen and walking admired, "this place is beautiful…" he appreciated.

But Dean was still showing his dimples of discontent, without noticing his brother attentive gaze on him, "And what _matter_ was that?" Asked Dean, crossing his arms on his chest. 

Sam grinned when he saw his brother's behavior, and took a sip of his coffee.

Castiel stared at Dean in the eye, and with the seriousness of a soldier, he said, "Demons trying to open Lucifer's cage again." 

Dean gulped, he would love his cheeks weren't warming up in that moment, but they were. 

_Fucking body… you're a traitor…_

Castiel averted his eyes to the fabulous ceiling “This construction is admirable."

Dean was petrified, and his arms were hanging by his sides, watching the beauty of the angel, admiring that place he felt so proud to have.

Sam stood up, and walking towards Castiel, he said, "This place is the Men of Letters bunker. Dean and I, we are legacies," explained the younger brother.

"Interesting," evaluated the angel.

Dean coughed, "Well, but what about these demons? Trying to release Lucifer again?" asked Dean, approaching them.

"Yes, they had been eliminated. You don't have to worry about them," replied Castiel.

"And… don't you think there will be more of those demons trying to… open Lucifer's cage?" Sam almost couldn't finished his sentence, the only mention of that name, made him shiver in horror. He swallowed his very heart down his throat, and tried to hide his terrified eyes.

"Probably," responded Cas, thoughtful, "But we will kill them all," he said, raising his eyes to watch Sam, he could sense his fears, "There's just a few of them, we erased the most numerous group, they were very strong." Castiel walked passing by them,he went out the kitchen followed by the brothers.

"How many?" Dean asked. 

Cas stopped in the war room, it was exquisite to see, "One hundred," he answered,"I was able to eliminate the majority of them, with the help of my Garrison, and Rachel," Castiel turned to see them.

Dean heard that name and his eyes narrowed, "Ra… Rachel?" Dean cleared his throat, he didn't want to sound like a jealous wife, "Is… Ahm… is she a friend of yours?" He finally said, avoiding the painful electricity in his heart.

Cas smiled slightly, "Yes, she's my lieutenant, and my friend," the angel answered, lowering his face, with a soft expression. 

Dean saw that, and the pain was so huge, he had to try to breath, his chest was hurting badly, then Cas continued, "We fought together, so many times," he raised his chin with proud, "She's loyal and strong…. she's a good soldier."

Sam side eyed his brother, he could say for the clenching jaw, he was holding back something, then he saw him smirking.

"Well…" Dean said, trying not to sound hurted, "wipe your mouth, you're drooling." 

Sam pursed his lips in annoyance, his brother was a real dumbass.

Cas cocked his head, and frowned confused, "This… is not a baby's vessel, Dean," he spoke, with bewilderment in his face.

Dean and Cas were staring at each other, till Dean rolled his eyes.

Sam approached Castiel, "I'm happy you were in charge of the mission, Cas," smiled the younger Winchester. 

Dean averted his eyes to his brother, then he cleared his throat and added, "Well, yeah, that doesn't justify that you didn't answer our calls for two days. You could give us just one signal."

Sam turned his face to watch his brother, his eyes were wide open, what the hell was he saying? He wanted to continue with the domestic fight? A fight Dean was fighting by himself, because Castiel wasn't aware of Dean's wife's claims.

Cas blinked, and he cocked his head to the other side, "I'm sorry," he said, "But this matter was of immense importance. And I did hear your prayers, that's why I came as soon as I could," the angel squinted his eyes when he saw Dean's reaction to his words. The hunter was behaving weird.

Sam blinked too, he confirmed it, his brother wasn't just calling Castiel by the phone but… _praying to him_ ? How many times had Dean prayed to Cas? He must've been very persistent, because Cas came _as soon as he could._

Sam huffed a little laugh, and crossed his arms, watching his brother fighting the blush in his cheeks. 

Dean gave a quick glance to Sam, and the little shit was smirking! _Fuck_ , he felt so obvious. 

The older brother cleared his throat for the tenth time, "Okay, well… it’s fine," he stuttered, "Come on, I'll show you your room," Dean waved his hand, and walked away, Castiel stared at Sam who pointed the way his brother had made off, and Cas followed him.

///////////

Cas and Dean were in the room the hunter had picked up for Castiel. It was a clean and nice room. Cas was watching it with a slight smile in his face.

Dean looked at him, Cas was exquisite, he snapped his thoughts away, and said, "I know you're not gonna be here every day, but… it’s good to have a place, you know…"

"I like it," the angel said, "Thank you Dean," his blue eyes were fixed on his green's. 

Dean gulped. He was frozen, standing there, contemplating the beautiful face he had in front of him. Cas walked away, he found a desk and caressed the wood with his fingers.

Dean observed him, absorbed. He recalled the kiss, and his eyes traveled to those pink and delicious lips. He wanted to kiss him again, he wanted to feel Castiel's warmth against his body… he wanted so much…

Maybe it could be taken as a revenge… revenge because Cas didn't answer his calls and prayers, yes… a _sweet revenge…_

Then Castiel side eyed him, and _damn_ … if that wasn't hot…

"I'm sensing you want to ask me something…" Castiel threw, without anesthesia.

Dean gave a little jump in his place, and swallowed. _Damn_! Was Castiel reading his mind?

"I told you not to read my mind again," Dean warned him, but Cas tilted his head in that adorable way, and approaching him, he talked.

"No, I wasn't reading your mind, I…" Cas was too close to him now, why did he had to do that as if it was nothing? His scent was so irresistible. Dean had to close his eyes to reach control, "I can feel your longing…" the angel almost whispered.

Dean opened his eyes slowly. What was Castiel saying? _Longing_? "And… it’s particularly strong today… can I help you with something?" asked Cas.

Dean nodded, muted, then he swallowed and said without thinking too much, "I need another kiss…"

_You're a horny son of a bitch, Dean Winchester! Why are you doing this again?_

He knew it was dangerous, he knew it was a torture, a sweet one, and he knew he could let things like that, and he will never kiss Castiel again. But his body was under a curse… and that curse was this angel. 

Then… he saw how Castiel bowed his face. Such a delicate gesture. Dean's mind was a mess…

"Do I have to respond again?" The angel asked, and Dean's ache in the stomach came back… Cas didn't feel a thing for him, for anything. He was asking like a robot, a computer… and Dean felt himself swimming into a lie. 

Then one idea assaulted his head, he will make the angel to feel something, _anything…_ he will use a more physical method.

"Yes, Cas, but this time we will use the tongue," sentenced the hunter, and he was kicking his own face, but also, he kept his stoic posture while saying this.

Castiel blinked, "The _tongue_?" he repeated, "I don't get it…"

"Yes, Cas… you know… like the _pizza man_?" Dean couldn't believe his own mouth, he gulped again and Cas was still frowning, "I'll guide you, don't worry…"

"Oh…" observed Castiel, raising his eyes to watch Dean's greens, "Fine then." He agreed.

"Are you… _ready_?" Dean wanted to know, now that Cas had understood what he desired from him.

"Yes, I'm ready," the angel echoed, and he straightened in his place as if he were about to fight or something.

Dean slipped his hand inside Castiel's trenchcoat and coat, and he took him slowly by the hips. He gasped at the touch of the angel's smooth fabric of his shirt, he was so close to that warm skin. 

Cas opened his eyes widely when he felt Dean touching him, he narrowed his eyes looking at Dean's hands, "The touching is gonna help you, right?" He asked, and he ventured one of his hand touching Dean's biceps, "Like this?" the angel was searching for Dean's gaze, the hunter swallowed, and nodded.

"Yes, Cas… is helping me a lot…" he almost stuttered, approaching Castiel's lips, so slowly and needy, he was close to burn right there. His heart pounding like crazy. 

Closing his eyes, he kissed him.

Castiel's lips were the place where Dean wanted to stay alive. He moved quietly, till he felt Cas was responding that kiss… and again so shyly… he almost lose it. The hunter pushed him by the hips against his crotch, and moaned, while his tongue was asking for permission in Castiel's delightful mouth. 

The angel felt Dean's intrusion, and he gasped just a little… that was new… and weird… and strange… but not unpleasant. Castiel relaxed his shoulders, and he imitated Dean with his tongue. He did it so naturally, and it felt perfect. 

Dean let a whimper out surprised. The hunter pressed his body against Cas, and the angel squeezed Dean's arm right there… 

What he was feeling… he couldn't explain it… it was new… and _satisfying…_

Castiel could sense his heartbeats were a little raised up, he pushed away slowly, and Dean did the same.

Dean had to cut that kiss or he will regret it. Cas was overwhelming for him, he was the perfect sensations he had searched his whole life… but this was just an experiment. And it had to end.

When they finished the kiss, Cas and Dean were staring at each other.

Dean was panting, and blushed, but Cas… Cas was panting too… it was just a little, but… yes. He was.

Dean opened his eyes in awe at the sight of the angel. Was Castiel feeling something? It had been a very hot kiss. _Shit!_ The hottest he’d ever had! And that's why his crotch was a mess!

But seeing Castiel in that shape… okay, it wasn't blatant, but… yes… he was panting… Dean couldn't stop the smile that his lips started to draw.

But then… Cas talked…

"This was very… educative…" 

Dean scowled, _educative_ ? What is that supposed to mean? _Educative_ , like… _learning_? Was he learning? Not enjoying it? Dean's chest pain was raising again. He looked away, disappointed.

"It was helpful to you?" He heard Castiel asking, he didn't want to see him in the eyes, but he had to. He had to fake the smile, and respond to Cas.

"Yes, Cas, you just helped me a lot, thank you," he was able to say, fake smile on his face, but the disappointment in his eyes was evident for the angel.

"That's good, Dean," Castiel said, trying to decipher what was going on with those eyes right now, maybe he will need more experiments…

"Guys!" Sam called them from the library, "I found a case!" His voice sounded like an order, so Dean saw an opportunity there to change the topic and run away.

"We have to go," he said, approaching the door.

"Yes… of course…" the angel responded, but Dean wasn't there anymore, he squinted his eyes in bewilderment, and then he recalled the kiss… and Dean's touches, and he felt his heart pounding fast again. The angel blinked, and put a hand on his chest, with confused eyes.


	4. Hot Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting complicated between Dean, the experiments and Cas... But... Maybe tasting a little of human intimacy, will make things change a little...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes things are complicated now! I hope you enjoy the backstory too with the angels and demons!

Sam and Dean were fighting another nest of vampires. This one was huge. They were surrounded by countless of them.

"They're too many, Dean!" His brother yelled, trying to push away one of them.

"We failed in our calculation!" The older brother shouted, while he chopped a vampire's head off.

" _WE_ ??!!!" Sam snapped at him, and he cut another vampire's head off, then he side eyed his brother just for one second, and yelled, " _You_ failed in _your_ calculation!"

Cas appeared behind the horde.

And then like a thunder, Castiel smitten two at the same time, and cut the head of three. Suddenly and after a brief moment, all the monsters were dead on the floor.

Dean and Sam saw the scenario, and the angel standing in the middle of it. They walked towards Cas, watching the dead horde, trying to avoid their bodies in every step they took.

Castiel saw Dean approaching him, smiling. He straightened in his place and his heart gave a jump at the sight of that beautiful smile, "Good timing, Cas. Well done," Dean was so close to him now. 

Castiel was lost in his greens, and he couldn't understand the odd reaction of his vessel. He couldn't elaborate a word either.

Dean frowned when he looked at Castiel watching him without saying a thing. Then he saw it. Castiel's intense blue eyes dropped to the hunter's lips, and he swallowed. Was just a second, but Dean was sure… he was sure Cas stared at his lips. He smiled widely at it, and Cas was now looking away. 

_Since when was Dean's smile that bright?_

"It’s a good thing I could help," the angel said, trying to approach the exit door, followed by the brothers.

"And why are you so happy, now?" Sam side eyed his brother once out the cabin. 

Dean smile faded, he turned around to see Sam, and with a frowning face, he said, "Good hunt, that's all, why can't I be happy for that?"

"Good hunt, my ass," murmured Sam behind him.

//////////

The three of them arrived to the bunker, and Sam yawned, "I'm so tired, I need my bed," he said, rubbing his eyes.

Dean let his backpack on the library table, and swiveling around to scold his little brother, he said, opening his arms, "Come on! Is Saturday Night, man! We can watch some movies!"

Cas was watching them interacting, from the corner of his eye.

"Not me, I need to sleep, but you two…" Sam pointed at Cas, "You can watch movies all night long if you want," he smirked, crossing glares with his confused brother, "Night, guys," and he left.

Dean clapped his hands slightly a couple of times and he side eyed Cas, raising his eyebrows.

The angel noticed that and swinged his head to another direction, Dean frowned.

What was wrong with him? Why did the air felt so heavy?

Cas was speechless, he knew Dean and him will be alone, together, watching a movie, but alone anyway. He didn't know he was feeling so anxious, and flustered. Each cell of his body desired that, but also, he knew Dean maybe would ask him to perform another experiment. And the last one… had been weird… his mind returned to that moment, and his heart jumped on his chest with every memory of it. 

He thought at first it was just his vessel, and how it was reacting to… _human intimacy…_ but then, when he saw Dean smiling at him in that cabin, he understood… it was _him_. It was him, having forbidden feelings for this human. So… being alone with him, wasn't a good idea… but at the same time… he longed for that… he longed for Dean's touches and kisses… 

Castiel closed his eyes, and swiveled his back to the hunter. He raised his face to the ceiling, searching for some answer to it.

"Ahm…" Dean ventured, "You don't have to watch anything if you don't want to…" the hunter said, faking a cool mood.

Dean knew something was wrong with Castiel. Maybe when he saw him panting last time… it meant it. It meant he really was having a good time sharing that hot French kiss. He really wanted to believe that, and Castiel's avoiding attitude made things harder. If the angel was feeling something… he _needed_ to find out. He needed another experiment, but this time it will have to be wild… he swallowed hard at the elaboration of that thought. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. Damn… he was such a stupid guy in love.

Castiel turned around, his eyes were shining like a million of stars… okay, that was Dean’s, impossible in love brain.

"I want," Cas answered, his eyes fixed on Dean's.

Dean had to try to control the dumb smile that wanted to come out like a fucking rainbow.

"Fine, good," the hunter coughed to hide the huge happiness that was invading his chest, "Let's go, then," he invited him, pointing the corridor towards his room.

//////////

Cas was sitting in the chair, tensed, while Dean was preparing the movie.

The hunter wheeled around to see his friend, and that wasn't the exact idea he had in mind of watching a movie with him, He had the popcorns ready, so he took the bag, and approaching Cas, he said, "Are you watching sitting there?"

Castiel glanced at him just for a second, "Yes, why?"

"Because we have a bed… and is more comfortable, you know…" Dean sat in one side of the mattress, and patting the place next to him, he looked at the angel suggestively, "Wanna try?"

The hunter enjoyed how Cas was swallowing flustered, and he knew it then. Cas was feeling something, clearly, and he should be kind of confused too. That was too cute. Dean smirked, and rubbed his nose to hide it.

"Okay, so…" Dean waved his whole arm inviting Cas to lay down next to him, "Come on, let's go!" He almost ordered the angel to obey.

Cas blinked, and stood up, approaching his side of the bed, but Dean stopped him right there. 

Cas stared at him with confusion in his eyes.

"Take off your trenchcoat, and the coat too... too many layers to jump on my bed," Dean felt powerful, and he had to hide his smile the whole time. 

Cas did as he said. He started to strip right in front of Dean. Then Dean's smile faded at the sight of such a gorgeous view. He gulped.

When Castiel was ready, he sat on his place, next to a petrified Dean that couldn't take off his eyes from the angel. 

"You were cool today, Cas… in the cabin…" Dean threw hypnotized with the seraph's perfect profile, "Sometimes I forget you are a powerful warrior from Heaven," Dean finished, swallowing hard.

Castiel lowered his gaze to the bed.

"You forget sometimes that… I am an angel?" He asked then, with a thin voice.

"Yes," answered Dean, breathing hard, he couldn't believe such a beauty. Contemplating Castiel was his favorite movie.

"I…" Cas started to say, he was still looking at the mattress, "I wish sometimes... I could forget that I'm an angel too..."

Dean wanted to know what was wrong with Cas, why did he wanted to forget he was an angel? He didn't want to have high expectations , but … maybe … just maybe because… 

_Stop there right now, Dean._

Dean watched Castiel taking some pop corn in his hands, and now he brought it to his soft, and hot mouth, he could spy his velvet tongue, and it was sinful. Dean gulped.

"You are asking yourself why I just said that… and why you can't understand it," Cas murmured, chewing the popcorn, without looking at the hunter.

Dean was speechless. 

Cas directed his blue dark eyes to him, and then he stared at the tv again, "There's… _things…_ angels are not allowed to do or… _feel_ ," he gave Dean a quick glance, and then he continued, "And that's why I said… sometimes… I wish I could forget that I am an angel…" Cas bowed his face, he didn't dare to stare at Dean.

And Dean was petrified, was he hearing right? Was Cas feeling _things?_ Because of the experiments? Because of _him_?

Cas turned his face to watch Dean, and they stayed in silence, till the hunter talked with serious eyes, "I need another experiment with you, Cas," if Cas wasn't sure... if Cas was feeling _something,_ whatever that something was … he will need the experiment more with him.

Cas straightened in his place, nervously, his mouth felt dry. He was expecting this. Was he waiting for this the whole time? How could he not feel affected by Dean's kisses and caresses… it was so intimate and, forbidden… and he wanted more. He couldn't explain it, but he wanted more, and more…

"Of course, Dean," he answered shyly, "What do you need me to do?" Castiel wasn't looking at him, but Dean continued anyway.

"We are going to kiss, and touch, like the other times… but this time we will be here… on the bed…" Dean had to swallow just because of what he was mentioning.

Cas encouraged himself to stare at Dean in the eye, and he just nodded.

Then, Dean approached slowly, and began to kiss him sweetly. His body was almost pushing Cas against the mattress, making him laid-back. Dean's hands grabbed the angel's tie and he took it off, he moaned when he felt the angel embracing him strongly.

Their lips collapsed there, fighting one against the other, the passion took control of them, even Cas wasn't thinking. He ran one hand through Dean's back, trying to pull his t-shirt off.

Dean couldn't believe it. Castiel wanted to strip him, he whimpered and began to unbutton desperately the angel's shirt.

Dean introduced his tongue and Cas allowed him, pleased. His t-shirt was out, And Castiel's shirt too, their bare chests were rubbing each other in heated movements.

Dean wasn't controlling his impulses, he abandoned Castiel's lips just to bite his neckline a little, it was delicious and Cas moaned.

Dean's moves were so sexy. Their bodies rubbing each other was a sinful and delicious sensation Castiel never had felt before.

Dean captured the angel's gorgeous lips on his, and now he rubbed their crotches together. Oh… what an exquisite feeling, Cas felt the need to carve his fingers on Dean muscled back.

Dean was hard, and needy, he didn't know how far this experiment will go, and at this point it was obvious Cas was as into it so much as him. This confirmation made him crazy. He started to move faster, till he felt Castiel's hardness against him. Oh, yes, he wanted him. Cas wanted him. 

Cas couldn't explain himself the whole situation. Dean's lips were unbelievable addictive, since when these experiments had become his addiction? He was losing it, he couldn't think straight… something huge was capturing his vessel, something he couldn't control… and then… he felt his erection. And he freaked out. It had to stop. _Now_.

Cas pushed him away, he was breathing hard, and his face was red, his lips swollen. He was looking at Dean terrified, and shocked. Castiel stood up and he didn't gave a chance for Dean to react, he disappeared in a second.

Dean sat on the bed, breathing roughly. He was so confused, but immediately understood, he ran a hand on his face, and his eyes remained closed, in despair. 

This time… they had gone too far…

////////////

Days had passed. And Cas didn't came back. Dean was too ashamed to pray to him, even knowing what he had felt… he felt Castiel's erection against his… it was delicious, and overwhelming… but it should be shocking to the angel. And this was his fault. Just his. Because he started all these experiments, knowing it would be dangerous… too dangerous… and now he had ruined his beautiful friendship with Cas.

Because he was a horny, delusional, son of a bitch. He didn't deserve the purity of this angel.

He wanted to turn back in time… 

Sam was aware of all of it.

Dean staying in his room almost the whole day. Walking through the kitchen or the library, or the war room, drinking, and not speaking, like a zombie. He sometimes, remained quiet, looking at the ceiling… for a few seconds.

And the expression on his face… sadness… 

Sam suspected why. Cas had been gone for weeks, and Dean had never asked for him. Something huge had happened between them.

He wanted to ask, but … he knew his brother. He would do anything to avoid the fact that he was pining for Castiel. So he waited.

From time to time, Sam tried to get through him, mentioning Cas just briefly… Innocents comments like… " _So weird he didn't came back yet, right?"_ Or… " _He didn't call today neither… maybe he's very busy with all this Lucifer adepts matter…"_

But it looked like those comments were carving deep in his brother, making him feel worse… so he stopped.

One night… Dean decided to pray to him, he sat in his bed, and closing his eyes, he said, "I'm sorry, Cas… if I offended you… with these _experiments_ , I promise I will never do these things to you again… but please, come back…"

Dean dried his wet eyes, and he laid down on his bed, watching that ceiling again, after scanning with his sorrowful eyes his entire room, searching for Cas.

_Delusional… son of a bitch…_

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

  
  


///////////

Dean was praying to him now, what should he do?

Castiel walked through the Park placed on that autistic man's heaven. He sat on the bench, contemplating the starry night.

His heart racing like crazy with each word he heard from Dean. He closed his eyes, because he couldn't handle the whole whirlwind of sentiments that voice made him feel inside.

The angel ran a hand over his face, he couldn't answer that call… not now. He couldn't go to him and be as if everything was nothing… because the last time they were together…

There was that pain in his chest again… because he was remembering the last time he was with the hunter… and that kiss… and his caresses… and those forbidden feelings and thoughts… he wanted him so badly… he missed him so badly. 

The heat of Dean's body against his, Castiel embraced himself and lowered his face ashamed, how could this be happening to him? Why did he had to do those experiments with him?

And he knew for Dean just meant that… _experiments…_ nothing else than that…

But for Cas… Dean was inside of him now, and he knew he won't never be erased.

Was this passion? Was this love? He didn't know… but it was so strong he was burning inside. 

His brothers will find this out, sooner or later, because it was evident… all over his face, he was feeling something forbidden for Dean Winchester. The human he was supposed to take care of, and not feel all these things.

No, he won't go to Dean. He couldn't. He shouldn't. This had to stop.

  
  


/////

Another week had passed, and Dean was like a dead man walking.

So Sam knew he had to ask this time, "Do you have news about Cas?"

Dean stopped, both of them were on the kitchen, and without watching his brother, he just answered, "No," and that was it.

But Sam knew something was eating his brother on the inside. And it was about time for him to talk. He knew it was difficult for Dean to use his actual words expressing what he really was thinking or feeling. But he had to try, because… this whole _sad zombie situation_ needed to end right now. Or mostly…

Sam cleared his throat, "Did you try praying to him?" He asked, And Dean just sipped his coffee in silence, before nodding.

The younger's hunter’s phone vibrated on the table. He picked it up, it was Jody.

"Yes, Jody, what's wrong?" Sam's face become serious, while their friend explained to him the situation, "Yeah, okay... We'll be there right away." He ended the call and watching his brother in the eyes, he said, "There are demons signs in Sioux Falls."

  
  


//////////

  
  


When they arrived to Sioux Falls, the town was empty, Jody had made the people leave with some excuse for sure.

Sam and Dean were walking down the street, armed. Suddenly, they saw and heard shots coming from a restaurant. They ran at high-speed, and they found Jody, surrounded by a horde of demons.

They tried to shot, but the demons were over them, and they were so many, they started to fight with their fists, but it was in vain.

Dean saw by the corner of his eye how Jody tried to release herself from two big demons, while he was in the same situation.

Suddenly, Castiel appeared, he was with one blonde angel and another one with curled hair, behind them, ten more angel with their blades ready to fight.

Cas waved his hands, and the battle started.

Cas took by the neck the two demons that were over Dean and smashed their heads against a wall, burning their brains and eyes.

Dean was in awe watching his friend doing such an extraordinary move. Then he remembered his brother and Jody, but both of them were safe, the angels had killed all the demons.

Dean was about to talk with Cas, but the angel avoided him, going to help Sam to stand up.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asked the younger brother, Sam looked at Dean and answered quickly…

"Yes… thanks Cas…" 

Dean approached Cas sharply, "Cas, where were you?"

Rachel, the blonde angel, walked towards them, with disgust in her face. Her partner, Zadkiel, watched her with worrisome in his eyes.

"He was fighting Lucifer's followers," Rachel snapped at Dean, staring at him in the eye.

Dean frowned at the sight of her bitchy attitude. 

  
  
  


Cas stopped right away, but he didn't looked at the hunter, 

Rachel and Zadkiel were there, staring at the whole situation with inquisitive eyes. 

"We need to talk."

Rachel pursed her lips, and she gave a determined step forward. She opened her mouth to say something, but Castiel raised his hand to stop her. The sadness invaded the woman's face, and Zadkiel scowled.

Castiel wasn't looking at Dean, he lowered his face and pressing his lips with annoyance, he talked, "Not now, is not the proper moment for that," the angel fixed his burning blue eyes on Dean's greens, making the hunter swallow with difficulty. Castiel was really mad at him. He turned around and walking away with his Garrison, he threw at Dean, "I'll contact you." And they flew away.

Dean felt he was breathing for the first time. 

Sam watched him, worried. His brother was really a mess when he was in front of Castiel. It was more than evident that there was more than just a loyal friendship.

///////

  
  


They returned to the bunker. Dean seemed to be exhausted, but mostly, very sad. Even so, Sam knew he was about to put that mask of avoidance again on his face, and fake that everything was just fine. Fake that Cas and him were all right…

"I'm gonna take a shower," the older Winchester announced, walking down the stairs heavily.

Sam pursed his lips "Are you okay?" the younger hunter encouraged himself to ask, but Dean didn't answer. 

He put his bag on the table, and Sam waited some more, but his brother didn't say a word, so he spoke again, "Because, it looked like Cas was kind of…"

Dean turned around to face his brother, losing his patience right there, "What?" He snapped at him.

Sam opened his eyes widely, surprised by the rushed attitude Dean was showing him after almost being like a sad zombie. 

"Do you want me to talk about it?" Dean continued, with an ironic tone in his voice, "You think I'm sad because Cas ignores me? What am I?" He raised his chin defiantly, "Am I a schoolgirl running after him as if he was a kind of… _adolescent unrequited love?"_ The older brother was gesturing with both hands. 

Sam was speechless. 

Dean straightened in his place, "No, Sam, I'm not. And he is just busy, that's all," he added.

Sam pursed his lips and blinked, 

Dean swinged around and while he was leaving to his room, he added, "And I'm fine with that, go get some rest."

  
  


////////

After taking a shower, Dean was dressing in his room, was cursing himself just because he started all of this. This damn game that ended his friendship with Cas.

He didn't even recalled why… _oh yeah_ … because he was so freakingly, _hopelessly_ , in love with him…

Why couldn't he push all these feelings down like he always did? Why this time he had to ruin it? 

He wanted to turn back in time… because maybe if he became the same person he was before all of this madness started, maybe… he could have Castiel's friendship back…

Knowing tasting the angel's soft lips had been his perdition… and nothing will be the same… he could fake everything was okay… he was an expert doing that. Faking. 

And what a mess he was after touching Cas' skin, feeling his warmth, and lips… and heat… he was a mess… he was so deeply in love with him… his feelings were more profound right now… but he needed to fight them. He needed to be the same old Dean Winchester.

Yes… he was a complete mess… thinking the whole day about the angel… every situation, or love song, or whatever… drove him back to Castiel. His blue ocean eyes, his pink, delightful lips, the smoothness of his tan skin… that messy, sexy hair. His rough voice, and the shape of his sweet tongue fighting against his own.

He needed to erase all of it from his head. Because he needed to show him that everything will be the same, and those experiments will never happen again. That way they could be friends again.

That's perhaps why Cas was so mad at him… because of his audacity trying to pervert a pure and innocent angel of the Lord. And because he had gone too far the last time.

Dean closed his eyes ashamed.

_What have you done to your friend, Dean Winchester?_

He decided to follow that new plan. And become the old Dean Winchester. He needed to show Cas everything was cool, and they could be friends again.

So he finished dressing up, and he left his room.

When he was heading to the exit door by the stairs, his brother saw him from the library.

"Where are you going?" Sam questioned, intrigued.

Dean turned around before open the door, and smiled at him, "I need a wild night out," he just said and left.

Sam frowned, concerned.

//////////

Dean was at the bar, with two girls hanging from his neck. One was blonde and the other had dark hair. He seemed a little drunk, and the three of them were laughing out loud, sitting in just one chair.

Dean was watching the blonde's lips. They had pink lipstick on them, he frowned, "You have a nice mouth but… you need to wear a pink lipstick so they look pink… I know someone who doesn't." He sipped his whiskey, and swallowed his very memory of Castiel. The blonde narrowed her eyes, while the other girl approached her mouth to Dean's ear.

"Am I hot?" She asked, waiting for Dean's answer. 

The hunter side eyed her and grinned, "Yeah… but… maybe if your hair were more messy…" 

The girl frowned.

And what was the worst thing of that night, he could swear, or sign a paper… no one, anywhere in the planet… _hell_! on the Universe! Had Castiel's deep, kind, hot and beautiful blue eyes. Dean closed his eyes and he let head fell on the blonde's shoulder.

"Awwww…" the girl said immediately.

In that precise moment, Castiel appeared in front of him.

"Hello, Dean," he greeted. 

Dean saw him there, and he released the two women in a row, feeling guilty and speechless.

"Oh, wow!" Exclaimed the dark haired one, "You have a very gorgeous friend!" The woman checked the angel out without shame. The blonde was doing the same, both of them were eating Cas with their eyes. Dean noticed this and coughed, he stood up like a lightning, and placed himself between Cas and the women. 

But one of them yelled from behind, "Don't be like this, share your beautiful friend! the four of us could have a great time together," and the girls laughed. 

Dean showed his dimples of discontent, then he fixed his eyes with his confused friend. 

"Cas…" he simply said. 

The angel was still looking at the girls, head tilted puzzled, then he crossed his inquisitive gaze with Dean, and the hunter gulped.

"These girls… I wasn't…" Dean tried to excuse himself. Then Cas understood. Dean was there trying to hook up with those women.

The angel lowered his face, he knew it was just a game, all those experiments, it meant nothing to Dean, but it meant everything to him. He didn't even know why he was there… insisting with Dean. What was he looking for? Dean didn't feel the same he was struggling with deep in his heart. He needed to stop all this whirlwind of human feelings, and he needed to do that in that moment.

Dean was standing in front of him, he couldn't decipher his friend's behavior. Castiel was mute, and his face was down. Was he mad at him? Was he ashamed? Was he jealous? 

_Yeah, stop dreaming, Dean._

"I just came here to say, I…" Cas was trying hard to say those words, his eyes were everywhere, but Dean, "I can't continue doing the experiments with you, I'm sorry." He finally said, looking to a side.

Dean's heart stopped. His mouth was dry like a desert. Why wasn't he looking at him?

"Cas…? It's… it's okay…" he barely could pronounce, because Castiel suddenly, turned around. Dean blinked.

"I won't interrupt your mating ritual with these women anymore, goodbye Dean." And he vanished.

"No! Hey! Wait! Cas!" Exclaimed Dean, but it was too late.

The women shouted when they saw the angel disappearing, and they ran away hysterically, saying it was sorcery.

Dean's sadness was now his usual partner, the pain in his chest began to hit like a thunder. So he decided it was time to end with that fake show.

///////////////

Sam was at the library, reading in his laptop, when Dean arrived with his defeated aura surrounding him.

Sam raised his eyebrows, "Hey, is too early, what happened?" He asked, but Dean just offered him a quick " _Stop right there_ " glance.

"I need to sleep." the big brother growled, walking with heavy steps towards his room.

Sam was in awe. Dean being a grumpy sad zombie, wasn't his favorite performance.

/////////

Dean laid down on his bed, closing his eyes with anger.

Why did he had to be such a dumbass?

Cas went to see him, and he found him with those two women that meant nothing to him… after being the whole night dreaming about Cas' lips and gorgeous eyes, and everything…

Why was he lying to himself? Back to the old Dean? What was he thinking? He couldn't come back to his old behavior! He couldn't! He was screwed from the very moment that angel had entered that barn!

There wouldn't be anyone, _anyone_ _anywhere,_ like Castiel, and that was a fact he needed to assume. He needed to stop all the crap and recognize he was doomed!

Hopelessly in love with Castiel. That was the truth. That was the fucking truth of all of this!

Be a man, Dean Winchester! You love Castiel. And you won't love anyone as much as you love this angel. _Digest that fact!_

He ran a hand over his face, and dried a couple of unshed tears in his eyes.

What an idiot, what a dumbass…

_Love him as you do. In silence, out loud. It doesn't matter. Accept the fact he doesn't love_ _you as you do. And stop this crap already._

_Old Dean_ was the worst performance he had ever played...


	5. Sex Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean will try desperately to talk with Castiel. His feelings can't be hidden anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Final chapter! I really really hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I wrote this because we deserve our Destiel Kiss. And Fanfictionland is the best place to fullfil our dreams!  
> If you want to follow me in Tumblr I'm @verobatto-angelxhunter and @verobatto in Twitter.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> C-u!

Days passed again without any news from Castiel.

That morning Dean was drinking his coffee, very thoughtful, his eyes were fixed on the table. His heart had learned to feel that ache almost constantly. Thinking about Castiel the whole day was becoming his way to live…

Sam entered the kitchen, and when he saw his brother as always, like a sad zombie, he coughed to caught his attention, and went directly to the refrigerator to get some water.

"Hey," he greeted Dean, and Dean offered him a tired smile.

"Hey," the older brother replied.

Sam sat in front of him, and before he could drink his water, he said, "Cas contacted me last night."

Dean's eyes drifted sharply to see his brother. He wasn't lying. Why was Cas avoiding him? He had prayed to him every night, he almost seemed like a desperate ex boyfriend. He had explained to the angel that those girls meant nothing to him. He asked him to come back, and they will try to make things better, like the old days. No more weird propositions… he couldn't avoid the fact that each prayer began with him asking for forgiveness… giving excuses for being with those girls that night… and then he always mentioned the last time they kissed… knowing Castiel was aroused with that situation too… knowing that maybe that meant sacrilege… or whatever that could be for angels… knowing it was forbidden.

Dean swallowed his very pain and looking to a side, he was able to speak, "Oh, yeah? What did he want?"

"He wants our help," 

Dean dropped his eyes to his mug. 

Sam continued, "Lucifer's followers are too many and we are good tracking them out."

"Okay, fine," Dean replied, taking another sip to his coffee.

"I said we'll help," finished Sam, waiting for his brother.

Dean averted his eyes quickly to stare at Sam's gaze, and then he said "Of course," Dean pursed his lips, and avoiding his brother's inquisitive glance, he stood up to wash his empty mug.

Sam watched him, and he was more sure now.

Cas and Dean had something going through.

  
  


///////////

Sam was reading a book sitting at his desk in his room. It was late at night, when Castiel appeared in front of him.

"Hello, Sam," the angel greeted him.

Sam seemed surprised, "Cas?" He could formulate, "What are you doing here?"

"I need your help to find the rest of Lucifer's followers. More eyes will be of great help. Mostly if those eyes are good trained like yours and your brother's."

Sam frowned, "Sure Cas," he replied almost immediately, but he had a huge doubt, "but… did you tell Dean?"

When Castiel heard that name he avoided Sam's gaze in a rush, and tightening his fist, he answered, very ashamed, "Your brother and I…" Cas was trying hard to not say too much, "We're now in a complicated situation."

Sam blinked, _complicated? How much?_ He cleared his throat and he saw Castiel giving him a quick glance, then looking away again. He was ashamed.

"Did you guys tried to talk?" He asked, because they used to talk, right? Like two good best friends… why was now so difficult? _Oh wait…_ he watched Castiel opening his mouth, to say something, but he regretted it. Okay… not just best friends maybe… maybe something else as he had been suspected. And the younger brother could just smell it… this has to be his brother. He could swear it. Dean making the angel feel "awkwardly hurt", because his lack of "showing his true emotions". So he coughed, and continued, "It's okay if you don't want to talk… look, I know Dean can be a little… _confusing_ , sometimes. He doesn't usually say or act like he really feels…"

Cas drifted his eyes to watch Sam saying those words. Sam knew his brother so well, so, maybe those were the words he needed to hear…

Sam smiled at him, because he saw a hint of relief in the angel's face.

"Thanks for your help, Sam. We'll be in touch," and he vanished.

  
  


///////////

Sam sighed at the remembrance of that conversation, he looked at his laptop, and typing, he said, "Cas told me about… the _complicated situation."_

"Yeah… it sure is. That's why they're asking for our help," Dean found a box of cereals, and he opened it. 

Sam stared at him, pursing his lips.

"No… not _that_ situation, actually,"he coughed awkwardly, "You and Cas…" 

Dean side eyed him, while he was chewing the cereals. 

Sam took a deep breath, "He didn't say why…" the little brother excused himself, as if he was doing something wrong.

Dean dropped his eyes to the box of cereals, looking for more. 

Sam narrowed his eyes, he knew he was trying to carve into a concrete wall, so he came back to his laptop, and threw, "It's okay, you don't want to talk about it, I respect that."

Dean put the box back on the table, and without saying a word, he left.

Sam watched him go, with concerned eyes.

Why was his brother like this? It would be better if he could express the whole shit he had inside. Maybe that way Sam could help him… but no… Dean was the king of avoidance. He was the best repressing any kind of feelings. He was sure now, there was something else there. Sam just could only hope his brother didn't make something irreparable to Cas.

He had ruined it. Dean Winchester had ruined everything, the good things, the bad things, whatever that _profound bond_ , Cas said once, they had… it was pointless…

_Complicated Situation?_

Hell it was! Because of him, because he couldn't talk properly, he was a coward. He didn't want his heart smashed on the floor, that's why the whole _complicated situation._

Because it could be easier, really, he could just throw on Castiel's face he was hopelessly in love with him, and that's it. Preparing himself to receive the pain. Like a grown man. The rejection… 

But then… he recalled… maybe… not a full rejection… because he felt Castiel's heat and hardness against his body… and the heavy breathing… and the fire… 

So, maybe not a _full_ rejection…

Maybe just… a _complicated situation…_ that he needed to simplify. If he just encouraged himself to talk…

//////////

Sam and Dean arrived to an abandoned barn, Castiel had called them to that place. They suspected it was an important point of reunion for Lucifer's followers, but there was nothing there. 

So they went out again, and began to surround the place. Walking carefully, watching each place with inquisitive eyes, until they heard a well known voice behind them…

"They're not here," Dean and Sam turned around to see him, it was Castiel.

Dean's heart gave a jump in his chest, he felt his throat tight, and he was almost shaking at the sight of him. Such a beautiful view, like the first day he saw him. It was a place like this, an abandoned barn, and it was dark… and noisy… then he came, with sparkles all over the place, with firm steps, and two beautiful and deep blue eyes, that caught him for the rest of his life.

"Hi, Cas," said the younger one, smiling. 

Cas nodded "Hello, Sam, Dean," Castiel continued, offering Dean a very quick glance. 

Dean was about to say something, but Rachel, Castiel's lieutenant, interrupted him.

"They're hiding in this place, we have to find them, maybe if we look on the cornfield…" she planned.

"Okay," responded Cas, with his serious face, in soldier mode, "Let's go there then," 

Rachel waved her hand and Zadkiel and the others followed her, Castiel too.

Dean knew it wasn't the time to talk about their issues, and he was so tired to let _these things_ for later… they were always in a new war. Always fighting against an enemy. Always saving the world…And never had the time to sit and clear things up… 

Zadkiel found a door in the ground. He waved his hand to Rachel, and she called the rest of the Garrison. Castiel approached it with Sam and Dean behind, and they opened it.

There was a stair and they followed Cas in silence.

They heard how the demons were reciting something in Latin. They were doing a spell for sure.

The angels found them making a ritual, and caught them by surprise. 

They didn't have time to react, so they just began to fight.

One of the demons bounced against Dean, making him fall to the ground. The abomination was huge, and the hunter was trying to shove him away, without success. Until he saw how Castiel smitten the demon in just a few seconds. Dean was frozen. The angel offered him his hand. The Hunter took it and stood up, too close to the breathtaking angel.

Dean swallowed, he could kiss him right there… to hell with the war. 

Cas was looking at him now, and they both were trapped in each other's eyes.

"Cas… I have to talk with you…" murmured Dean. 

Cas dropped his eyes to the floor "There's nothing to talk about," he replied, but his voice didn't say what he was feeling inside.

"Yes there is," Dean insisted, "Please, come to my room tonight… please," begged the hunter. 

Castiel fixed his blues with those hopefully greens of the Hunter, then his gaze drifted to Dean's lips.

His heart was racing crazily. How could he say no to Dean? 

So he nodded.

He was trapped again… he couldn't say no to him. Each cell of that vessel, screamed to be with Dean. Like a magnet.

"Commander!" Rachel called him, all the demons had been defeated. She approached them, and glanced at Dean with disgust. Zadkiel was behind her, watching her in silence, "We have to come back," she said, still side eying Dean. 

The hunter saw the way she was looking at him, and he scowled.

"Right, let's come back," replied Castiel, then he swinged around to see Dean and Sam, and focusing on Dean, he added, "Thanks for your help," and they vanished.

//////////

Castiel knew it was time now. Dean asked him to go see him in his room. He felt so nervous and anxious. He needed to calm him down. The angel looked around and he found Rachel approaching him. They were on the corridor next to the exit door.

"Where are you going?" She asked. It was obvious Cas had that running away face. 

He opened his mouth, he was about to say something, while his eyes were dropping to the floor, but Rachel spoke again, this time with such a soft voice Cas glared at her, "We've prepared a reunion to celebrate the triumph against Lucifer's followers," her cheeks were tinting in crimson. The woman averted her eyes to a side, smiling shyly. 

Castiel blinked.

"Because that was the last group…" observed Castiel, and she nodded, still blushing.

"Are you coming?" She asked, looking at him with hope.

"Since when do we make this kind of… _reunions_?" Castiel questioned, intrigued.

"I… organized it…" Rachel encouraged herself to confess, she dropped her eyes again, "It's in your honor, because I know humans do this kind of… parties… and you enjoy their company so…" Rachel pursed her lips nervously, "I wanted to give you something similar to what they give you…" her voice was sounding like a whisper. She was ashamed of her own words.

But Castiel smiled at her fondly. She was blushing, trying to face those blue eyes of her Commander. 

"That's very nice," Castiel said, and their gazes met, "I'll be back soon, I promise." He ended, and Rachel frowned concerned.

"Where are you going?" She asked again.

Castiel looked at her, "I have a matter to solve, don't worry," and walked away.

Rachel knew what was all that about. It was Dean Winchester. Castiel was going to meet him. That human. Since he appeared in their lives, Castiel wasn't the same. Being so attached to one human, meant to build a bad reputation and rumors between the angels.

Rachel clenched her jaw and tightened her fists. Castiel could be corrupted by him. She turned around and she found Zadkiel in front of her. Watching her worried.

"Are you okay?" He asked, "We are waiting for you and…"

"Yes, I'm fine, let's go," she cut him off, walking away. Zadkiel glanced with disgust at Castiel while he was leaving.

////////

Dean was waiting for Castiel, sitting on his bed. With a thoughtful aura, he was trying to calm his anxiety. He didn't know if Cas would come… his heart was racing so fast, he could feel it in his throat.

Then… a familiar sound of wings flapping, he turned around to see him. It was Castiel.

"Hello Dean," the angel said, and Dean stood up in a row, his eyes fixed on Castiel's face.

"Cas…" he approached the angel, but immediately noticed how Cas got nervous, and clenched his fists in response. Dean swallowed. Maybe he needed to go slow. He stopped right in front of the angel, "Thanks for coming," he added. The hunter saw how Cas drifted his eyes to the floor.

"I don't have much time, Rachel organized a party in my honor."

Dean felt an arrow crossing his chest at the mention of that name. Rachel, he could say by just seeing her, there was something more there than just loyalty to Cas. He knew something about longing, and that angel wanted Cas. And Cas spent a lot of time with her, and they were friends… Good friends…

"Rachel… she seems like a good friend…" Dean's lips moved by instinct, and his jealousy flew freely, even so, he couldn't stop those bitter words, giving him more physical pain in his gut.

"Yes, she is," affirmed Castiel, smiling, with his eyes still on the floor. 

Dean didn't like that smile, because that smile wasn't because of him.

"Yeah… a good friend… not like me." Dean realized what just came out from his mouth, he opened his eyes widely, surprised by his own words, and gave a quick glance to Cas, to see his reaction to his jealous outburst.

But Castiel tilted his head in that familiar way, narrowing his eyes in confusion, fixing his intense blues in Dean's greens, "Why do you say that?" the angel questioned him, sincerely.

Dean felt the shame again running through his cheeks, into a crimson fire, he couldn't keep his eyes on that honest look, "Because… the whole… _experiments_ situation, you know?"

Cas blinked, he recall all the experiences he had with Dean, and the intense sensations the human made him feel. His heart gave a jump at the remembrance of the last kiss… how his vessel had felt… reacting to Dean's touches. 

The angel gulped, and then he said, pursing his lips, "That… I… I gave you my permission," Castiel glanced at Dean just for one second, and he saw the hunter was looking at him in awe, he continued then, tightening his grip, "It was my decision to help you… to help you with your doubts…" the angel finished, not knowing if he should stare at him or not. The air was dense between them, and his vessel was out of control again.

Then Dean spoke, "There was not… there wasn't any doubt, Cas."

Cas was watching him, frowning. Dean carved his chin in his own chest, biting his lower lip like if he was scolding himself for that.

"How?" The angel wanted to know, he was so confused. If it wasn't because Dean had doubts? What was all that about?

"I was sure… I am…" Dean continued, and he did it, he crossed his gaze with Castiel's confused one.

The hunter knew he had to be more clear… more blatant… he wasn't good with words, but if he didn't try… he could lose Castiel forever, and he didn't want that. So… he opened his mouth again, and keeping those perfect, beautiful, blue eyes on him, approached his angel, he said with a sweet and low voice, "I'm sure about how I feel for you."

Dean wanted to see Castiel's reaction, and damn, it was exquisite. The angel couldn't move from his place, enchanted by those words, enchanted by the idea of being attached through this deep and incomprehensible feeling inside his chest, this warmth, the need, this longing, so strong, taking all the air out from his lungs. Intoxicating, forbidden… he wanted it to be real… to be mutual… 

Dean was trapped on Castiel's gaze, the angel looked at him in awe, he didn't know if his words had scared him or…

"I… I took advantage of you… because… because you don't understand, you didn't know I…" Dean had given two, three, for more steps towards Cas, he wasn't moving from his place yet, he didn't flew away, was that a good sign? Dean was terrified, because Cas kept watching him scared, surprised, confused…, but he needed to keep going… this was the end of the road, "I can't be with anyone, but you, Cas," 

Dean was trying to breathe now, because the angel was too close, and his heart was pounding hard, even so… something in Castiel's eyes was making him say all the words he needed to say. He swallowed, "You are in my head, the whole time. Is always you… I… I know...I…" Dean saw how the angel parted his lips, his eyes still in awe, _to hell with it!_ "I'm in love with you, and those experiments were just excuses, because…"

Dean couldn't handle the rift between them and he reached with trembling hands Castiel's shoulders. The angel blinked nervously at the tender and desperate touching. 

Dean face was a mess, he didn't care if he looked pathetic, he needed to keep saying everything, he couldn't stop, so he grabbed him with more strength, and fixing his eyes on the angel's he murmured, "Oh, Cas… if you don't feel the same, if it's just me who's burning inside… just… let me…" 

Dean pressed his forehead against Castiel's, closing his eyes with desire. Cas did the same. 

"Let me… be in this one sided feeling…, but please… don't ever go away from me…" 

Cas opened his eyes slowly, that was impossible. That fire inside his chest, that confusion became a clear shout in his head. He loved him too. He loved this human. This burning desire invading all his vessel, all his celestial existence, it was overwhelming, but at the same time, it was a huge happiness he couldn't control.

"I wasn't supposed… to feel this…" Castiel whispered. 

Dean pushed him slowly to catch his gaze. He was the surprised one now "What...what are you saying?" Dean asked, dry mouth and heart racing even more.

Cas encouraged himself to look at him, and he added, shyly, "They weren't just experiments to me neither…" he breathed deeply and swallowed . Dean was waiting for him. 

"But an angel… angels shouldn't…" Cas was staring and Dean's lips now, oh… he looks thirsty, "You're not allowed to me, Dean. I can't…"

"Cas…" Dean approached him more until their faces were inches from each other, he couldn't believe this… he was living a dream, because just in his dreams Castiel loves him back. Just in his dreams the angel wasn't a robot without feelings… just in his dreams… but this was real… 

"Cas… please…" Dean rubbed his lips with Castiel's, "Let me love you…" he whispered, and for Cas, Dean repeating his name was enough for him. 

Dean kissed him.

It was a tender, sweet and shy kiss, started slow, tasting the angel's soft and warm lips, his hands cupping Castiel's face. The angel followed the rhythm, his hands reaching for Dean elbows.

The kiss became harder and harder. The heat was consuming them. Dean introduced his tongue inside Castiel's mouth and the angel welcomed it with a moan. So sexy, so hot, Dean couldn't resist the urgency to take off all his clothes. First the trenchcoat, then the coat, the tie and _fuck…_ he could touch Castiel bare and smooth skin. The hunter whimpered in passion. Cas was learning fast, because now he was the one undressing the hunter.

When their chests were naked, he pressed themselves against each other to feel the warmth into a needy hug.

Dean was panting on Cas' neck, "I want you Cas…" he murmured, while he was laying the angel on the bed. He was in top of that beautiful creature, opening his belt, and taking off the angel's pants.

Cas arched his back, moaning, "Is too strong, this feeling…" he murmured, and Dean grinned, watching Castiel's enraptured expression was delicious.

"I'll show you more…" said Dean, kissing Castiel's already hard cock through the boxer.

Cas left a loud whimper scape. 

"Yeah… I want to hear you enjoy this…" whispered Dean, taking the angel's boxers off, facing his gorgeous dick, "Oh Cas… look at you… you're beautiful," admired the hunter, enchanted with Castiel naked beauty. 

Cas fixed his blue eyes full of desire on Dean's, and the hunter didn't wait, he took Castiel's cock inside his mouth in a row. 

Cas gave a little shout. Dean licked his length, desperately, roughly, he couldn't repress his fire.

"Dean… Dean…" Castiel only could repeat, trying to breathe with little gasps of air. Dean was making him feel uneasy and totally exposed.

Dean gripped the angel's cock hard, and began to jerk him off, up and down, his hands were working on him while his mouth tasted the exquisite flavor of the angel's skin.

Castiel was moaning so loud, it was the best music Dean could heard. The hunter felt Cas was about to come so he stopped, and Cas groaned in frustration. Dean smirked.

"Wait…There's more…" whined Winchester, kissing Castiel's hot and needy lips. Their cocks were rubbing, and Dean couldn't help it, he began to slide himself against the angel's perfect body, making the fire lit up a little more.

"This is too much Dean, I feel you and it's like i'm about to explode," whispered Castiel, but it sounded like a growl.

"I know, Cas… wait here…" Dean pressed another hot kiss, playing with their tongues, he went down putting wet kisses all over those exquisite abs, he kissed the head of Castiel's dick and the angel whimpered in anticipation, but Dean had other plans…

He opened Castiel's legs until he had his perfect and pink rim in front of him, the hunter licked his lips with lustful desire, and fixing his green eyes on Castiel's impossible blues, he enjoyed the angel's messy expression, and he began to lick slowly Cas's hole.

Cas couldn't help it anymore, he tried to reach his lover's head with one of his hands, instinctively trying to push him harder against his ass. His face was red and his eyes were full of passion.

"Mmm I think you liked this, uh?" Dean grinned, and Cas just could nod, then Dean started to lick his hole again, this time more rough, he knew he was doing it well, because the angel was moaning loudly again, and pushing his head against his ass. He wanted more. Just like Dean did.

The Hunter introduced his tongue inside of him, and then one finger playing there. Cas was almost screaming of pleasure. Then two more fingers, then three, and he was ready.

Dean traveled again and kissed the angel's neck, he was panting and needy.

"I will make you mine if you let me, Cas…" whispered the hunter to the angel's ear.

"I would love that…" murmured Castiel, using his last strength. 

Dean opened the angel's legs, and put the head of his cock teasing on Castiel's entrance. Enjoying again Cas' beauty.

"You're so perfect, Cas… I dreamed about this so many times…" Dean growled while he was pushing slowly his hard dick inside Castiel's hole, "Fuck, Cas, you're so tight and perfect, it feels good… really good…" whispered Dean, while Castiel purred in ecstasy. 

He never had felt this kind of emotions, it was like his body was doing it by instinct… yes… he was moving his ass searching for more of that cock. 

Dean grinned, watching his angel so needy for him, made him happy. So he fucked him harder and harder. Each rimming was followed by their whimpers.

Dean was losing it, Cas was the most gorgeous and hot creature in the whole Universe, and he was there, the two of them were one now. He was going to show this angel how much he loved him. Dean searched for Castiel's lips, and he dropped a clumsy kiss on them.

"I love you," the hunter confessed, lips still rubbing, and not even kissing, keeping the thrusting rhythm. Cas smiled, and fuck… the sun lit up the room.

"I love you too, Dean," said Castiel, and that had been so hot, Dean felt all that passion flew on his veins, rimming him faster and faster, hitting him roughly and wet. They were about to reach it.

Cas came first and then Dean, inside of him.

The Hunter lay down by the angel's side, both of them panting, and smiling like dummies to each other. Dean took him in his arms and kissed Castiel's messy hairs.

"This was…" Castiel began to say.

"The best experiment ever," chuckled Dean, and Cas smiled at that.

"Agreed."

Dean fell asleep, and Cas just stayed there, enjoying the hunter calm breathing. The way Dean was embracing him was so possessive, like if he didn't want to let Cas go. But Castiel needed to come back to Heaven, just to say goodbye to it. So he waited for a couple of hours, and then he moved.

Dean opened his eyes confused, and then smiled widely when he saw Cas in his arms.

"Hey Cas... sorry I fell asleep…"

"I have to come back to Heaven." Announced Castiel. 

Dean felt his chest aching "Promise me you'll come back, and you'll stay with me," asked Dean. He didn't care if he sounded desperate.

Cas felt the hunter's strong longing, and looking at those worried beautiful green eyes, he smiled at him fondly, then he kissed him sweetly. 

Dean had to close his eyes at the overwhelming feeling to be kissed by his angel. When Cas cut the kiss slowly, he pressed his forehead against Dean's, "I promise," he said quietly, then he stood up, and dressed up with just a snap of his fingers. Dean huffed a little chuckle.

"The advantage of being an angel," the hunter said amused. 

Castiel turned around to see him and he flew away smiling.

Dean started to miss him already.

////////////

Rachel found Castiel in the corridor of Heaven, she stopped dead on her heels, and taking a deep breath, trying to hide her disappointment, she said, avoiding Castiel's gaze, "The reunion in your honor is over … we did it without you."

Cas gave one step forward, "I'm sorry, Rachel, but I came to say goodbye."

The woman raised her head sharply, and frowned in disbelief, "What did you just said?" She asked.

Zadkiel saw them talking, and he hided from them to listen.

Castiel smiled sadly, "I will stay on Earth, with the Winchesters."

Rachel pursed her lips in disgust, and she tightened her fists, "No…" she said between her teeth, "You're gonna stay with _him_ ,"

Castiel blinked, maybe Rachel could sense his bond with Dean.

"I can feel your grace…" she continued, lowering her face, she had unshed tears. Castiel tilted his head, narrowing his eyes, "You and him…, you are deeply joined now," Rachel fixed her angry eyes with a muted Cas, "What has Dean Winchester that I can't give you?" She stuttered, when a tear ran on her cheek. 

Castiel frowned puzzled, he didn't expect that from her, was she in love with him? How could she…?

"Did you wallowed with him, Castiel?" Zadkiel came out from his hiding place, with menacing face and mocking voice, full is disgust. Castiel and Rachel turned around to see him, "You had sex with a filthy human," Zadkiel was now pointing at him with his accusing finger.

"Zadkiel, what are you doing here?" Asked Rachel, drying her tear, and straightening in her place. 

Castiel was still in awe.

"I had always lived covered by your shadow, Castiel. Always trying to be like you to make Rachel notice me," the woman looked at him surprised, but Zadkiel was focused on Cas, approaching him with threatening intentions. 

Cas gave a step backwards instinctively, "Whatever I tried, whatever I did… was never enough. She always ended up running to you." Zadkiel's words were raising loudly. Rachel was petrified, "And now you dare to reject her because of a _filthy ape_?!"

Castiel was just one step away from Zadkiel, he was studying his subordinate's eyes intensely. He squinted his blues and encouraged himself to say, "I love him."

Zadkiel made a grimace of disgust, "You fucked with one of our Father's mundane creations… you disobeyed our Sacred Oath." Their faces were inches from each other.

Castiel was looking at him defiantly.

"Zadkiel, leave! It's an order!" Rachel shouted, but the angel was still glaring intensely to Castiel.

"You still defend him… even when he changed you for Dean Winchester." He murmured, and there was a hint of a hurted disappointment in his voice.

"Zadkiel!" Shouted the lieutenant again, but the soldier continued.

"Why i'm I the only one reasonable in this place!?" Then, he grabbed his angelical blade, and cut Castiel's throat, stealing his grace, putting it into a little bottle. Rachel jumped on him, but he pushed her away, while Castiel fell on his knees, covering his wound. Zadkiel took him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him near his face, he had Cas' grace in his other hand, "Now, you're a human. You, who loves humanity so much, you will die like one of them, but first, I'll made you pay for Rachel,"

The soldier didn't notice Rachel jumping over him again, both of them struggled, until she reached his Commander's grace before Zadkiel vanished with Cas.

//////////

Dean and Sam were taking breakfast in the bunker's kitchen. 

Sam noticed his brother was in a great mood. He looked happy, he couldn't recall when was the last time he saw him like this, and he had to ask…

"You look happy… did something happened to you that I should know about?"

Dean smiled shyly, and he thought Sam needed to know, because… _hell_ , he always suspected his brother knew about him and Cas, so… he decided to talk, when Rachel appeared in front of them with ragged breathing.

Dean and Sam jumped from their seats.

"Dean Winchester," the angel said, looking at him, "you have to find him!" She begged with tears.

After a few minutes, Sam and Dean had heard the whole situation from Rachel.

Dean was in shock, and his brain couldn't function. Castiel was human, and in danger. It was too much to process… last night they made love, they had been together, happy…And now… this was a true nightmare.

Sam put a hand on his shoulder and looked at him, his big brother watching him with pain in his eyes.

"You're the only one who can help him," asked Rachel with desperate voice, "I have to come back to Heaven to cover all this, or there will be more consequences, and I will be expelled from Heaven too… Zadkiel can't come back," Rachel gave him the little bottle with Castiel's grace. 

Dean took it delicately, she fixed her eyes with him, "You will find him… through the bond Castiel and you have. You'll be able to feel his longing, his grace will help you," she gave two steps backwards, and nodding, she disappeared.

Sam approached his brother, "Dean… you and Cas…?"

Dean swiveled around to see him, his eyes were worried with unshed tears, "I have to find him, Sam."

//////////

Dean put Castiel's grace between his palms and approached it to his lips, he closed his eyes, while Sam stared at him frowning.

It was cold at first… then warmth… Dean felt a warmth sensation in his chest, and then the pain… so intense he had to breathe deeply. Then a familiar smell… 

Castiel's voice saying _"Hello Dean,"_

Castiel's smile so beautiful…

Castiel's lips so soft and sweet…

_"I love you too…"_

Dean opened his eyes brusquely, and turning around to see his brother, he said, "I know where he is."

  
  


//////////

Zadkiel had brought Castiel to that old abandoned barn where he had finished with Lucifer's followers.

Cas was tied to a chair, exhausted and with cuts and wounds in his face.

"You will never have enough of this, Castiel," said the soldier, showing him his angelic blade, "You will never have enough from this celestial punishment."

"It's not a punishment, is your own anger and frustration, you need to put all that on me."

Zadkiel ran the blade through Castiel temple, and clenching his jaw, he threatened "I don't want to hear you speak, you are nothing but human shit," he was about to kill him when Sam and Dean stormed in that place, and Sam jumped on Zadkiel, pushing him away from Cas.

Dean kneeled down, and untied his lover, "Hey gorgeous," he said, relieved that he found Cas in one piece, "I have a gift for you" the hunter added, opening the bottle with the grace.

"How did you find me?" Asked Cas, while he was receiving his grace again, and healing in one second.

"I followed you like a GPS, because you missed me so much," Dean grinned, but they had to cut the romantic reunion. 

Sam was against the wall, and Zadkiel had him by the neck.

Castiel shoved the celestial soldier by his shoulder, releasing Sam, who touched his throat and coughed. 

Dean approached him, "Are you okay?" Sam nodded, and both of them watched as Cas and Zadkiel were fighting.

The difference in battle was huge. Not for nothing Castiel was the Commander. 

Zadkiel couldn't touch not hair from his head, and Cas was with his blade ready to give the last hit.

"You gave up… everything for him…" Zadkiel murmured, spitting blood and panting, "I would have given everything for her too."

"Then… you understand why. Goodbye brother." Sentenced Castiel, sticking the blade in his chest. 

A blinding light came out from Zadkiel eyes and open mouth, and that was his end.

Castiel walked towards Sam and Dean, and both brothers smiled, but Dean had _that_ look on his face, Sam noticed and panicked.

"You were hot," Dean said.

Sam rolled his eyes "Oh no, please…" he begged.

Castiel approached Dean with a grin and kissed him quickly in the lips. 

Okay, Sam had to admit, they looked cute. The younger Winchester huffed a little smile.

///////////

It was a quiet morning, or that was what Sam thought. 

The younger Winchester was drinking his orange juice after coming back from his morning running when he heard a whump coming from the rooms. He frowned, and he decided to investigate.

Leaving the Empty glass on the table, he left the kitchen and walked through the bunker's corridor, until he found his brother trying to introduce another night table on his own room.

Sam chuckled, "What are you doing?" he wanted to know.

Dean gave a little jump when he heard his brother behind him, and he turned around showing him his dimples of discontent, "I… well… ahmm…" he babbled.

"You do know Cas doesn't sleep, right?" Sam crossed his arms on his chest, enjoying his flustered brother trying to answer his question.

Dean straightened in his place, "It's not … that's not…"

"Yes, Dean. Have you moved all the things from my room already?" Sam and Dean turned around to see Castiel, who'd had just appeared behind them.

Sam raised his eyebrows, and looking at his brother again, he repeated, "Have you moved his things into your room, Dean?" obviously the mock in his voice was a little too blatant.

Dean was having enough with the _mocking brother_ act "Oh, shut up!" He just threw at him.

Sam walked away, "You're so obvious Dean," he said while leaving.

"Bitch!" Shouted Dean.

"Jerk!" Answered his brother in the distance.

Dean focused then on his angel, he saw Castiel had a pendrive in his hand. Cas waved it with a shy half smile, "I have one cowboy classic movie to watch with you tonight."

Dean smirked in silence, savouring the sight of his precious angel.

"What?" Asked Castiel, tilting his head confused.

"I just had a couple of c _owboy_ ideas with you that came to my mind for tonight too…

Castiel grinned, cocking his head to the other side, "I think I understood that reference," the angel said suggestively. 

Dean gulped enraptured, then the angel kissed him softly in the lips, offering him another flirty gaze, inviting him to their room.

And yeah, Dean couldn't hide that goofy smile on his face.

The End


End file.
